A crazy song in my head

This morning, somewhere after my morning ritual of getting up (with a cold...ugh), making coffee, making the bed and taking the dog out, I settle in to my normal waking up with coffee, revising various writing projects and to go along with the coffee in my waking process, I check my facebook page. This is where a friend posts "I wish I knew why the song, Brass Monkey is going through my head" - good morning and thanks? Now the flippin' song is in my head and I'm not going to lie - I'm too much of a musical snob to allow that kind of silliness to stay there for long.

Blessed, and perhaps cursed as well, am I to have a rather large & varied music collection. Surely there is something there that will stop any part of that song going through my head at various times throughout the day. I'm fortunate that I'm usually exempt from being a victim of having songs that are, shall we say, less than desirable running through my head because I can usually put something more agreeable there. I guess what I'm saying is that with music, there is always something available that I'm perfectly fine with having stuck in my head. There's always a better chorus, guitar solo, bass line or drum groove that it's acceptable to have stuck in my head, so when someone says something like "well thanks for getting that song stuck in my head all day!", I play a little game and immediately think of a song that would be much better to have playing on mind radio.

Nobody needs to know what that song may be, no one needs to care but me. Fine. No one is going to hear it but me, so I won't have to field questions about it. I don't really know how to explain why I find so much music that is off the beaten path of stuff that is more popular so appealing - and mind you I listen to a reasonable amount of commercially popular music. I suppose it's a bit like going to the zoo and only being interested in seeing one particular animal, or going to an art museum and focusing on one artist or piece of work - there's so much more to see and appreciate, at least to me.

So I'm not really worried that Brass Monkey will be stuck in my head all day today - it won't, though I'll admit to the chorus playing once or twice in my mind - but that's merely a reference, so thank you Deneen. Meh, on to songs, plotting out the monumental changes that I'm heading towards in my life over the next few weeks, nursing/banishing a cold and I suppose I should clean my house and put some laundry away. As I sit here with my second cup of coffee, looking for my creativity in the fog of being a tad behind on sleep, thinking about songs I don't want in my head and having a cold, I think about how this blog has steered towards all the things that run through my head while I feed the coffee monkey that's on my back during the first 2-3 hours of every day.

When you hab a cold, you wake ubp and need to bake coffee and hobpe the day shabes ubp. I'b jubs sayingb. 'Choo, sniff, hack...ugh.

Merry Christmas!

It's been an interesting last few weeks of the year - some of which has been difficult for me, but then I realize what others are going through and I stop and count my blessings. Actually I don't physically count them, I need only look around in every direction and see that I'm surrounded with blessings. For the important people that I no longer have in my life, I have all they left me with and I am a better person because of them. Realizing the many ways I have been blessed by having wonderful people in my life is what keeps those who are gone with me. There will come a day when I'm gone, and I can only hope that I've left such favorable marks on any of those I care for as a friend or relative. There are people in this world who go their whole lives with far less.

The situation I seem to be having trouble shaking off is nothing at all when I look at what others are going through during this Christmas season. Several people I know are battling cancer - and every one of them is doing so with a sense of dignity, humor and strength that is nothing short of amazing. So when I think for a second that I might ask the man upstairs why I am struggling with what I am, despite knowing what actually makes sense, I quickly shift my thoughts to others that are fighting much bigger battles. Battles like these are hard to find any sense at all in - so let me say that for anyone in the midst of such a fight, my prayers are for you, for healing, health and the strength to go on.
These are the real things to pray for, where good thoughts, hopes and miracles are needed. So this is what I have for all of you facing real difficulties - as opposed to my mere disappointment.

I wish you health, comfort, happiness, warmth, love and laughter and I wish that for all of my family and friends - every day of the year. I will hope and pray along with you and everyone else keeping you in mind, so know that you are loved and I am among those who hope for you all the health, happiness, joy, laughter, love and warmth that I want in my own life. I'm thankful to have wonderful family and friends in my life and all of you make me the person I am - without any one of you, I am less. I hope I've been as meaningful to you all - whether as a relative, friend or coworker, as you have and are to me. Merry Christmas and here's to a happy and healthy new year!

If I had me an Etch A Sketch heart

A friend recently posted a comment on my facebook page: You can't see where you're going if you keep looking back. Here's the thing: while the events of the last three and a half months, particularly the hurtful, screeching halt that had any of my hopes with someone come smashing into a wall of hurt, still bother me...I am trying to look ahead. While I do still think of someone, more than I would like, I realize that for things to end up this way means that what I thought was there, didn't exist, at least not on her side of the fence. This is petty stuff when I think of what others I know are dealing with - a good friend of mine saw his marriage fall apart and end, barely a year after perhaps the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to. Yesterday he told me he got the book of wedding pictures - barely a month after the divorce was official. Ouch. I know people who are either battling cancer or watching someone they love fight it. I know people who are out of work and have been for quite some time now. And I'm bitching about a petty bowl of crybaby soup with a barely romantic situation? Cracker puh-leeeeeeeeze. Sack up man!

Yeah, it does still bother me - despite knowing that what I thought I saw in this situation and what it actually was, were two entirely different things. I can't own anyone's traits but my own, and what seems to be now, tends to trump any and all of the favorable things I thought I saw. Am I wrong? So why then, do I still feel bad about this? I guess it's because I honestly thought I was due to meet someone nice - and that I had,  and that I'd finally reached a point where I've applied things I've learned from my past mistakes. Never mind all of the above - what I need here, is a heart and mind like an Etch A Sketch! That way I could shake that shit up and whatever was undesirable would be gone! A brand new silver screen in front of me just waiting for the lines to go wherever the F I want them to! Sounds like the makings of a good country tune doesn't it? Remember Calhoun Tubbs, the blues singer character from that sketch on Living Color? I flippin' loved how he'd say, "Wrote a song about it...like to hear it go:" - that was funny shit. While I have the sound of my new song, If I had me an Etch A Sketch heart, in mind, I don't play an instrument other than drums - and those are of no help in presenting said song to you, so I'm afraid that the words/lyrics alone will have to do here....take heart dear reader(s...I hope!) they'll be created right here in this blog, on the spot! Like to hear it go:



Well if I had a heart like an Etch A Sketch
I'll tell y'all just what I'd do
I'd pick it up, shake it up 'n yawn 'n stretch
shake away my memory of you

You once were nice
more than I've seen

now yer heart cold as ice
Sh,sh,sh,shake it all off-uh that screen

Chorus: I'm gonna shake off every line that was you
              Yes everything you said that wasn't true
             I sure don't wanna cry or live life blue
             And so I'll shake off every line that was you

Here's a line that my dear old friend contributed:
            gonna shake off a line or two
           'cause you ain't nothin' but residue
           on a heart that broke & made me blue



...you get the idea. It could work - I could always open up the forum to have people write the next verse! I'm just saying.

The third, and final installment of playlist notes/closing remarks

Okay, here's the last of the playlist notes and my closing remarks. My attempts at self-deprecating humor kind of flow throughout the whole list as not many get my tastes in music. I've no problem with more than a fair amount of commercial stuff, but I do like musical underdogs quite a bit. The person I compiled this list of tunes for never heard the tunes, never saw the notes...or the quiz at the end. Thanks to all of you who asked me to post this stuff and to all of you who commented on how nice the gesture would've been. I hope you enjoy reading this stuff as much as I enjoyed it when I wrote about it - all off the top of my head, just wanting to see if I could actually fire off reasons for liking the songs.

1. White Trash Wife – Exene Cervenka. I love it when country music takes humorous liberties. Boy does this one ever do that. There had to be a country song with this kind of title and it just had to kick serious ass. This one does that too.
2. If You Want Me To Stay – Etta James. Oh I love what she does with this, one of my favorite Sly Stone tunes. The piano intro, then the bass and I've never heard a drummer come in so softly and move things the way they move here. This song makes me forget, albeit briefly, that I'm a lousy dancer. Then I remember, forget again...it's a cycle.
3. Coffee Monkey – The Bottle Rockets. This is a funny coffee song. I don't like my coffee black, but there are times when I sing this song in the morning, not terribly well, but yes...
4. Lily-A-Passion – Grant Lee Phillips. This guy writes some seriously beautiful songs, he just DOES. I love the ways he knocks some of them way over the fences – like this one.
5. Dirty Secret – Grant Lee Phillips. Oh this is one seriously pretty song. Songs this well crafted make me feel like I'm being held and all I should do is just shut up and listen. This is SO beautiful and completely tender, gentle. It reminds me of being w/the right person and not doing or saying anything, but just knowing that something's right and there's nothing you can do about it, but be. I don't know how to explain it really – I guess kind of...you're here, I'm here – and that is exactly where both of us should be. Maybe I should just say APPRECIATION...deep, deep appreciation. Maybe I should stop rambling?
6. The Trouble With Poets – Peter Mulvey. I love this one, particularly the opening line. Delivery is important and it's near perfection here. I like that someone thought to write like he did here.
7. Somethings Wrong – The Figgs. Short. Sweet. To the point. Rock. Yup. It just works sometimes.
8. Midnight Man – James Gang. This is one of the prettiest ballads I've ever heard. I actually got to play it with one of my favorite people, Tom. Sometimes what seems so incredibly simple is actually not. Hard to explain, but there aren't too many times I wanted to be so completely in touch with a song as badly as I did this one – I just wasn't giving myself any wiggle room. The middle part where the woman sings? That lady is actually a receptionist at a local vet clinic that Tom takes his dogs to. Useless trivia, I know...but I remember being blown away by how T nailed every line in that tune onstage that night – even the female part. I remember thinking 'wow, Tom brought it....I should never, ever have a microphone in front of my face again' – nor should I sing things absurd, such as a Jack Daniels love song....but I will for someone...if she's really pretty. Uh, wink. Have I been forgiven for that one yet?
9. This Is Where You Ain't – Glenn Tilbrook. I only heard this song a few weeks ago when I asked my friend Dianne's husband if he was familiar with Tilbrook's post-Squeeze stuff. “I am, and I will see to it that you are too.” I love this one, but then I really like Glenn Tilbrook and Squeeze. I read a review once that called Squeeze/Tilbrook 'intellectual rock'...hmm, then what am I doing with it? Smiling when I hear it, getting it, that's what. I laugh because this is my favorite way for a drummer to enter the house of song – it's like knocking and opening the door in the same instant walking right in, because you know you're welcome and it's cool not to wait for anyone to open the door or yell, “c'mon in”...what a great thought, makes me feel wonderful.
10. Chuck E.'s In Love – Rickie Lee Jones. I know it's dated, and while it's not classic like say, Sinatra...it moves me. The drum track doesn't hurt, but I'm not about to bore you w/my thoughts on that...I may have none of your favorable attention by now. Have I asked you if I'm still in your phone? The more I write, the more I wonder. Hope so.
11. Ananas – James Taylor. This was the first James Taylor song I had to have the minute I heard it, in a long time. This drummer never did anything but floor me, but never mind that. I love this song. The first time I heard it post-Nashville, I cried...shocking the living daylights out of me. I thought something to the effect of, 'oh COME ON dude....water under the bridge, might be a good time to sack up'. I just love JT when he hits really hard. I like how I knew that day that from that point forward, after the self pep talk, this song would always make me smile.
12. Floppy Shoes – Robert Earl Keen. This one may give you an idea of what I meant when I said under the radar country sat well with me. The first time I heard it, I thought how much I would've liked to nail a tune like this back in the day. It just sounds fun and I was always a huge sucker for guitar lines like this. I know, nerdy musical snob. Did you know I can cook? Yes, I'm changing the subject...
13. Mr. Pitiful – The Commitments. Not sure who wrote this old R&B gem. They're taking some serious liberties here w/this one, really, really rushing it. Not sure this one sounds its best at this tempo, but somehow the feeling that they're all in a hurry together works for me – it's kind of funny and more than I love music, I love to laugh...especially in subtle ways that don't always have to be shared with many, but rather one if any. Like an inside joke.Sounds odd to say it, but this is kind of like being rushed to bed on Christmas Eve as a child, because someone has work to do...Mr. Pitiful? Soon I shall banish you....shoe! Go! NOW!
14. Soul Shoe – Graham Parker. This is a GP gem. I can't recall if he did this one live when I saw him on a solo tour, but it would've needed a band. GP at his best, and he's always something I have to think about – this is a rather complex enjoyment of what I suppose is rather rough, raw stuff...I smile because there's more here than there appears to be. If I could dance, it might make me want to.
15. Go To The Woods – Dar Williams. How this woman isn't a better known country star is beyond me, really it is. She's SO good and this one just kills me. In the mid section where the band stops for a beat while she comes in with this AWESOME line - “...and if I was your memory...” I LOVE that! What a conceptual thought smack upside the head. Truth is I loved that line SO much that I kept thinking of all the ways I could write on that concept...they seemed endless that morning – pre-coffee no less. So I hastened the business of the hound that morning and headed in to write. So much room in that line. You and I had just started talking quite a bit around the same time, so one thing I did with this was for you my friend. Relax, it's airing out right now, I suppose in a kind of limbo. I'm not much of a “look what I did” kinda guy when it comes to my writing, but if someone reads what I wrote and they get it – I like it. A lot. Sometimes I just have to write and not give much or any thought to things, but rather just let them flow, then see what I have in front of me. Sometimes my shredder thanks me for this. I love this song, which just screams to me that she should be way more popular, but I really, really love that line. It's airing out – I'm not sure that it wouldn't be taken as a sales pitch and the fact is, it's really not one. I get how it could be taken that way, but I think I nailed.... ...you'll see it someday most likely. I couldn't really show it to anyone without you seeing it. Remember me? I'm in your phone right?
16. Golden Days – The Damnwells. Wow do I ever love this one. Achingly pretty, tender, gentle and strong – no matter what.I love the lyrics “fall-apart confetti come on cry right on my sleeve”...I hope I've felt, said or written at least one thing that hits someone the way that line does me....to me this is being held by a song. Gives me goosebumps all over my skinny arms and both increases and threatens to take my inner warmth right outta my heart it does. It's almost like a ballad that doesn't want to be a ballad. Oops, 'another nerdy musical snob quip. Sorry. I so hope you'll forgive these.
17. Green & Dumb – Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers. Perhaps the best illustration of just why I love under the radar country -that is if you remember me saying that. Oh boy does this song ever send me and this guy can sing! This song is so beautiful it makes me forget that I can't sing, because this song is so beautiful I'm simply incapable of hearing it without at least mouthing the lyrics. Wicked beautiful is this one, the time signature helps...but this guy just sings the daylights out of this wonderfully warm song. I love everything about this song, title, intros/outtros/verse/chorus/bridge....
18. Our Love Would Be Much Better (if I gave a damn about you) – Dag. This was a post-Nashville, post-breakup trip to a record store after I moved back to Ohio. “The HELL????....I thought when I heard the chorus come over the store speakers. “Who IS this?!” I said to the guy behind the counter. The moment he told me I asked him where it was, had it in my hand like two seconds later, which seemed like a long time. I didn't care if the other songs were crap (they weren't) I had something to do with this tune. What was it? Sing that line at anyone, anything,any place that ever hurt me, and while car dancing most likely – and I'm a very good car dancer, though not a single soul knows this. I may not admit this is if you tell anyone I said as much – if I'm still in your phone after you've read all this, heard anything you liked....well, we can negotiate the car dancing thing. The thought of thinking of anyone who has at one time or another laid an unfair amount of disappointment on me while I car dance and sing that line is flippin' hilarious to me. I’m telling you it WORKS, and it's actually a lot of fun, not for an entire day mind you, but for that brief moment when you sing that line in defiance of anything or anyone that has hurt you, it's fun. Try it, you'll see. Then you can thank me. It doesn't have to be a love thang – it can be a work thang, anything. Just sing to that thing that has hurt you that you don't give a damn – by the way, it's ok if you actually do give a damn – but don't let on with that while you're singing that line to whomever or whatever you're singing it to, delivery is so important here. Car dancing is optional, and nearly always amusing – I'm just saying, it might help. Check it out.

At this time, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my off-the-top-off-my-head thoughts on why these songs have been helping lift spirits a lot these days. Since it's suspected that your spirits are in need of more lifting than mine currently, I hope at least a few of these help – but please don't feel you have to smoke me out on this – any of it, ok? Please fill out the short questionaire below:

1. The music on this playlist was: (check all appropriate selections)
   a) a bit like listening to a neighbor's wind chimes and hating every second of it
   b) wonderful, moving and at times enlightening
   c) combined with your insights & the implied kindest of thoughts thereof, it rocked my world 
   d) help me out here...where exactly do I know you from?

2. listening to much of this music, and reading your thoughts on the content makes me:
   a) mildly bothered that I can't place just where it is I know you from
   b) Happier than I feel I should tell you at this point in our friendship
   c) mildly curious as to what might be wrong with you
   d) wondering where you've been up to now

3. Thinking about the fact that you wrote all this for me, and me alone, makes me feel:
   a) like drinking
   b) like drinking more
   c) like giving you the longest hug you've had in your entire life, but only if that's ok
   d) that it's time I trimmed down my contact list on my phone
   e) aw, that's nice...

4. Who would you want to know about any of the content, musical or written?
   a) everyone who cared to listen, and I'd shout it from a mountain top
   b) not a soul after the level of cheese on the first choice for this question
   c) doesn't matter who knows...I know, you know – you know?

There you have it, _______. I've had times where people read stuff like this from me and say, “why and how exactly, do you have that kind of time on your hands?” - the thing is, stuff like this doesn't take much time for me, once I decide to just do it. There are times when I'd like to say things, but can't put a single sentence together, perhaps just as well, but it usually doesn't feel that way. Hope you see it for what it is – a sincere attempt at sharing in the hope that at least some of it helps you smile as you weather your storm. I meant what I said about this kind of pain having no business anywhere near you _____. I know that without a shadow of a doubt, and who wants that shadow following them around? Not I said Irish guy.

The second installment of notes on a playlist

Here's the second installment of notes on the playlist I did for someone awhile back. I realize most of these tunes are way under the radar for most, but I happen to like a lot of different music and much of that is a bit off the beaten path of mainstream/popular stuff, which of course there's nothing wrong with. Some of this stuff I've liked for a long time, some of it is relatively new to me - but all of it has its place for me. One friend told me that she wouldn't have found music like this on her own, but wanted to after seeing what I had to say about these songs - so I'm glad at least a few people actually got it.

1. Real One – John Doe. I'm pretty sure this is a John Hiatt song, yet I've never heard him do it, and I don't think he recorded it. JD nails this and it's such a well written song that it has from time to time, given me chills at various points. Can't say much really, I just smile at Hiatt's incredibly strong song writing abilities. I can't imagine writing something this beautiful and basically tossing it aside in favor of other work, and that is what moves me to warm and happy here. Silly, I know...but for a guy who loves putting words together to get sincere meaning...
2. I'm On Your Side – Keb Mo'. Ok, this is just one of the greasiest shuffles I've ever heard – which is just how I like 'em. I dunno if mine ever sounded that way, but I know I wanted 'em to. Love greasy shuffles. They make me smile, sometimes even laugh – what's not to like about that?
3. Still – Glenn Tilbrook. I hope he wrote this one from his own experiences, because he takes what could be cheesy and makes it work. Half the creative power behind Squeeze, when I hear him post-Squeeze, I see how valuable he was to that band. Again, Brit pop writing genius to me. This could easily go all over the board here – I like to think that given the subject matter he's choosing wisely so as not to lose someone's attention. That kind of thing is beautiful. Beautiful = smiles, laughs - at least for me.
4. Everybody Has The Blues – James Taylor. What's not to like about JT....and I was a huge fan of this particular drummer, but that's really boring stuff to write to YOU about! Consider yourself spared!
5. I'm Only Sleeping – The Vines. If there is a Beatles tune I'd want to see someone take liberties with and ruin, this would be among the last ones to suffer such a fate. I like this version of one of my favorite Beatles tunes, but there are a lot of those...seldom fails in lifting of spirits.
6. Bad Chardonnay – Graham Parker. Only GP would do a song and make that line work, while basically making fun of the very delivery of it. Perhaps only a former drummer turned foodie like me would get it and like it, no matter – it works for me sometimes and I've had some ba-ba-baba,ba-ba, baba, ba-ba bad Chardonnays...
7. Please Please Please – Fiona Apple. Liked her since her first hit, Criminal. Had no way of knowing how deep a writer she is and I absolutely love how she sometimes plays w/lines that hint at not sounding right together and makes them sound like they do. I know, a nerdy music snob thing to say huh? Okay, I just think she's really good.
8. A Fuse About To Blow – The Figgs. To me this is a funny power pop gem. No fluff, no guilty pleasures, minimalist power pop from an American band. These guys are backing Graham Parker on the stuff I put here too, but by now you may be mad at me for that....I like these guys because they're not gear heads or posers – they play great, play hard. Never been impressed by guys who like seeing lots of drums, always hated it when I was asked to bring “lots of drums”...always lose interest when drummers would talk to me at their gigs and brag about all the stuff they have at home. Check please, but I'm well aware that is a SO musical snob statement.
9. Drive By – Glen Phillips. I couldn't believe it when I heard the line about him praying to God – hear me out on this, I say that because I love it when a writer lets you know he's any of the following at times: foolish, silly to embarrassment, vulnerable and completely at the mercy of something or someone. Why? Because all of us are at times. I think it takes stones to say so. I can think of some times I've thrown some pretty silly prayers at God – some of them had half of that line in them, but I can't say which half. My point here is that I've often had these completely silly notions about God being mad at me for things that he just couldn't be, but how was I to know? I love how this song alludes to a young boy thinking at times he's out of God's sight, yet knows full well he never is. One should be able to talk to God about anything, so I like this line on account of that belief. I can't say that I'd want my teenage son singing it around the house – at least in front of relatives, but I don't have a teenage son and if I did, I would do my best to keep an open mind and get this. I'd certainly rather hear him sing that line than many others...but my rambling-alert function just kicked in and said I'm WAY over the limit here – yours may have kicked in minutes ago...
10. I Am A Leaver – The Damnwells. My friend and former coworker Matt gave me a dvd that he threw tons of music on for me in appreciation for inviting him down from Pittsburgh to see a show w/me and some other Turner's Mill people – including Tiffany Reed. Ever have one of those nights where it just feels great to be with a group of friends? I love it when that happens, it did that night. Somehow I just now got around to these guys. Both tunes from these guys here just floor me...
11. Human Thing – The Be Good Tanyas. I can't remember where I found this band. Boot Liquor radio on iTunes, I think...but no matter. This song is stunning to me when I'm sitting on a quiet Sunday morning with my coffee and the paper. It's like having someone around before you're entirely awake who knows exactly what to say to you before and after coffee – comfortable, soothing. I just like it.
12. By Your Side – Squeeze. I struggled with the LP this one came from. This one haunted me, despite the tacky 80's crafting on this one, Glenn Tilbrook still nails this. I hate the way they crafted this song, but I can kind of see how there was no other way. I guess I like how the melody still finds a way to reach me as pretty. I know, musical snob. Am I still in your phone? Hope so.

The first installment of notes from a playlist

Several people have asked me to put notes from a playlist that I did not so long ago for someone who was going through a rough time. Truth be told, this someone is a woman that I uh, well, fell pretty hard for. Remember that Warren Zevon hit, A Certain Girl...? I can't tell ya! Never mind - she never got the mp3's on said playlist, therefore, she never got the notes either. I have no idea what she may have thought, and I know this is different stuff, which I like from time to time. I did mention the notes to some friends and they commented favorably saying that they would make great material for the blog, and that I should post 'em. Since there are/were 39 tunes on this list, and I'm a bit of a musical snob - and one who can ramble the f ON, in printed or spoken word...you might well guess that there are a fair amount of notes. My uhm, pet name for said woman has been removed and I've nothing unfavorable to say about this woman, but never mind that - here, due to semi-popular demand, are the notes on the rather eclectic tunes I threw on the list:

Some thoughts on these songs...

Hiya _______,

I'm not sure what you'll think of either this playlist, or my accompanying thoughts. Now I don't want to say, nor even allude to, these being my favorite all-time songs. They're not, they're simply some songs that are currently successful in lifting my spirits, particularly on those days where I'm being too hard on myself, and those happen from time to time, so I act on changing that kind of mindset because it does me no good at all. I don't always have to have so much to say about how a song, or anything else really, moves me. So, on the days when I'm struggling, no matter who/what the opponent is, I find it helpful to hear stuff I like, as I steer myself out of the funk. I need to start looking, listening around for all that can and does bring me joy. I hope this has a few that help you in your storm, I hope you get my insights, I hope I don't ramble too much with them, and I hope you get a laugh or two and I'm still in your phone by the time you get through either one!

1. Stop Breakin' Down – Lucinda Williams. One of America's best songwriters, perhaps a bit more known for what higher profile artists have done w/her songs. Yes, she can be a bit twangy, but this is pure Americana stuff of heartache, triumph...feelings and I love this stuff when I'm in the mood for it! Being self-aware enough to look at myself when I'm in a funk and just tell myself to, well...stop breakin' down...START building UP – because I have very little, if anything at all to cry about.
2. Forest Fire – Lloyd Cole. Nobody told me about this guy, I had to read about him & take a chance based on what a critic said – which I usually do cautiously. He's good, but nothing he's done hit me like this one did – hauntingly beautiful, love the way the Bo Diddley-esque beat rolls this right through me, and the organ doesn't hurt either. This song may be one of my best kept secrets. Not sure if anyone gets this one.
3. Two Of Us – Aimee Mann & Michael Penn. I love this version of a great Beatles song because of Aimee's lines, particularly the short ones she flies solo on – because I think she's untouchable when she nails a well written melody – and she does that here, I.M.O.
4. Save It For Later – Naked Barbies. This is an old English Beat hit w/a cool take on it. It's Sunday morning/coffee/paper background for me. I do think the name of the band, Naked Barbies is at least a little funny – I'd kind of have to, I grew up w/two sisters who had Barbie dolls...I had the male equivalent, no I am not talking about G.I. Joe, I'm talking about Johnny West, a cowboy. JW couldn't get naked if his clothes were on fire - his clothes were molded onto his body, it didn't matter. What did matter was that he was a cowboy, and he had a horse. Nothing was cooler than that when I was 5. That means nothing as far as the song, just rambling about a band name that I find amusing.
5. Blackbird – Sarah McLachlan. Messing with a Beatles tune can be thought sacrilegious by some I suppose,
   I know that sounds melodramatic, (ya think?) but I get that, I guess. Sara McLachlan couldn't sing a bad note if made to though and I like what she does w/this one.
6. Black Sheep – Glenn Tilbrook. Overlooked, underrated...Brit pop songwriting genius if you ask me. He's often funny, moving, heartfelt, energetic – always brilliant, at least to these ears. I love smart song writing, even when it's somewhat of a challenge to listen to it - but this stuff is easy for me to listen to.
7. Someone Take The Wheel – The Replacements. Kicking serious power pop butt. I've long loved what Paul Westerburg does with his hooks. This one always makes me go...”um, YEAH!” Kinda just pushes the funk away and tells it to back off, this one does.
8. Give Me One Reason – Junior Wells. Yes, I do have the Tracy Chapman version,and I love it, but this one is done by a blues legend. He kills it, and it was likely one of the last songs he recorded before he passed. I had the good fortune to play a version similar to this one when I subbed for an old friend's blues band after I'd quit playing. This version brings back a pleasant memory of a night that I liked everything else that went along with playing in a band – and that didn't happen often for me, hence the quitting. Blah,blah,blah...I know! I just love how he seems to get into it w/more each passing bar. He's pretty deep in it by the time that I am as a listener, so it makes me smile, tells me everything will be just fine.
9. Hard-Core Troubadour – Steve Earle. I wish I could say I got this guy years ago, but I didn't. I love how he just kicks this one's ass, and while I'm not familiar w/most of his stuff, I'm told he kicks most of their asses. A tune getting it's ass whooped always makes me feel good, this one has it coming, if that makes sense?

New Format...

As any of you who are reading this blog recently may have noticed, I've been trying various formats and trying to figure out how I want things to look here. At the moment, I wish I would've left things as they were, but I was able to use a cool picture I took in the ice storm of '08. I tried using the photo as a background, but the file size was too big and I had to bail on that one. I've been playing around with trying to use the picture in other ways and I kind of like the way it looks now - but the overall look of the blog is...well, not quite the way I'd like it. With all the snow we've had lately, I thought it would be appropriate to use a picture that captures the beauty that Winter can have - although lately I'm struggling with finding beauty in Winter, believe me.

Never mind the things I spoke of in my last post about what would make Winter more tolerable for me, I'm beginning to cop the mindset that the only thing that's going to make me like it at all is moving to a warmer climate, so yes, I'm thinking about doing just that. I just did minimal driving and while I trust my own driving abilities in the white, ultra-fly Honda Civic, it's others and the fact that it's really nasty out there that bothers me. While it's a perfect day/night to settle in, well...no fire makes that suck a bit, and it makes me wish I could at least go skiing and find some enjoyment in this weather. Pat, where the hell are you when I need you? Don't tell me that you couldn't do with a trip over to Holiday Valley and a day of hitting the slopes like we used to do - has it really been 12 years? I'm afraid it has. Gadzooks.

I think back to when my oldest friend, Jeff and I used to shovel the walks at the apartment complex that his mother managed. We were teenagers and Jeff's mom had very clear instructions that certain walkways needed to be cleared perfectly as there were handicapped people living in the buildings. I just remember working like dogs with snow shovels, regular shovels and any other large tool with a decent handle on it to break up the ice. We got to where we were pretty good at it and whenever I shovel my walk now, I think back to those days. Back then we'd work up such an appetite - again, two teenage boys mind you, and spend the last hour that we were working talking about going to a buffet place and all the stuff we were going to pile on our plates.

These days I don't do buffets - no thanks, not interested. I don't care how impressive the spread is, I'll pay for what I want and I'm fine with not having seconds...or thirds...or fourths. There's nothing that interests me in a buffet these days and I doubt anything ever will again. For one thing, I don't have the appetite of a teenager any more - thankfully, and I'm much more concerned with the quality of the food I eat as opposed to the quantity. Now the quantity of snow...well that's another matter and I'd like to see a lot less of it. In 1982 I lived in San Diego and my mom was in Palm Springs. I drove there with a girl I was dating and I was thrilled when we drove through mountains and there was snow - we had to pull the car over so that I could make a snowball or two and throw them at a tree. That was cool, what's outside as I type this? I'm tired of it already and Winter is just starting. Sorry - I don't think I'm long for this kind of stuff. My grandparents used to spend Winters in Florida and they did it because my grandfather hated the cold weather. My grandmother used to tell him that they needed to stay in Ohio until after Thanksgiving, but as the years went on, I think they ended up going down earlier each year. I'm beginning to realize that my grandfather had the right idea! Brrrrrrr!!!!

Things that would make snow tolerable

I ski - though I'm not terribly good at it and with the absence of health insurance currently, skiing rather seems like a risk that would best not be taken right now. Although I have my own skis and the assorted cold weather gear that would keep me comfortable, the fact that one can be hurt pretty easily seems to be more of a block these days - besides, my old ski buddy Pat is no longer available for those long Sunday trips to New York or Western Pennsylvania. Fond memories I have of those trips!

I've said for a number of years that I wouldn't mind Winter if I had a wood-burning fireplace, a four-wheel drive car and a garage. I currently have none of those items and when you tack on a few more years under my belt, it makes for me all but hate the colder months these days. My current employer takes so little into account when it comes to severe weather, that I'm wondering if I should even bother going in tonight. My first Winter there had me driving in one Saturday and wondering why there were virtually no other cars on the streets in Hudson - what I didn't know was that there was a severe weather traveler's advisory in effect and they were basically telling people not to drive at all unless they absolutely had to.

My car got stuck in the 91 pass-through to the entrance of work. Three people instantly came to my aid and I was able to head south on 91. What's even more interesting here, is that my friend and coworker, Mike, couldn't get in the parking lot of work in his four-wheel drive Jeep Cherokee! No one from work called to say there had been no customers at lunch and that dinner would likely be a waste as well. That means that Mike and I had both driven in conditions that were a bit unsafe for nothing. Thanks?

So today I'm wondering if I even want to clean my car off a few hours from now and waste my time going in. It's bad out there and while I hate to miss work, going in on a night like tonight will most likely be a waste of time. Yes, I'd get some on the clock hours - but that isn't the income I count on being a tipped employee.

I don't want to assume anything, but I'm going to be pissed if I end up driving in for nothing on a day like today. I have two projects here that need work on and some minor research for - how I wish I could do this in front of nice fire, and that if I have to venture out in this stuff for any reason at all, I had all wheel drive to do it in. I will say that front-wheel drive is better than rear-wheel drive, but it's really nasty out there - so I'd rather not go at all. Unfortunately the offer from someone to share a fire has been rescinded, so it's me and my dog - and mind you this is a creature that of late has me being a rather reluctant dog owner, and the writing that needs done and simply won't do itself. There may be a good photo opportunity or two outside when I bundle up for the dog's afternoon walk/romp - but I'd rather not think of that right now! Note to self: perhaps it's time to move to a warmer climate, one where I can drive to the snow and cold should I want to take part in any winter activities, and where I can drive away from it - and quickly, when I've had my fill.

Magical Soup!

The winter before last, I discovered a soup that really helps banish a cold and the congestion that usually comes with having one - which is a major drag in the colder months. Actually it's a drag to have a cold in the warmer months too, but this soup will work magic then as well. For the past two winters I've made this soup quickly at the slightest sign of a cold, congestion or throat irritation and I've come to swear by it.

So what's this soup? Basically chicken stock - broth is what I've used because the last thing I'm going to do when I'm in the funk of having a cold, is to spend much time cooking, lime juice of varying amounts, sliced up hot peppers of any or all of the following varieties: Habanero, Jalapeno or Serrano - yes folks, you read that part right, chicken and when it's all hot and ready to eat, some rice.

I realize that to some of you, this is going to sound crazy. I swear it's soothing and it works wonders in both holding a cold at bay and getting rid of one rather quickly. I'm eating a moderately peppered up serving of it as I'm typing this and I've mentioned it in various posts on face book this week getting some comments, so I thought I'd share it here. I'm a seasonal eater thanks to my affiliation with The Inn at Turner's Mill, and when it's cold outside, lookout, I want soup! This one is what I go for when I think I'm anywhere near catching a cold - and my new thing, a healthy, daily dose of bee pollen (thanks for the tip M.F.H.!) will keep me on the path all winter long!

So here's my suggestion if you're suffering from a cold, or just starting to come down with one. I keep things as simple as possible here and given how one's taste usually suffers a bit with the symptoms of a cold, I don't really see the need to get terribly busy with the recipe.

Here's what you need - taking in mind cooking for one:

1) Chicken broth -  a quart will do. For any of you purists, go ahead and make stock if you feel you need to, but when I'm under the weather I'm not very ambitious in the kitchen.

2) I buy a rotisserie chicken at the grocery store - and for $4.99 that is hard to beat - and good!

3) 2 or 3 limes - more if you're making this for more than one person

4) 2-3 of each of the following peppers: Habanero & Jalapeno

5) Rice - the par-boiled stuff seems to work best for me. I followed the instructions on other rice to the letter earlier this week and the rice was a complete throwaway!


Put the broth in a pan and turn the heat on medium. Slice one or two peppers very thin - either use gloves or be very careful in handling them - if you get the oil from the peppers on any part of you that is covered with skin, you'll likely regret it later - I'm just saying. If you're really congested, don't waste your time with anything but a Habanero - and don't be a wuss, while this pepper might like to kill you if you felt like your healthy old self, it's going to set you free from the throngs of a cold in this soup! Not that you won't sweat. I'm just saying.

Take about a third of the thinly sliced pepper and either smash it with the juice of half a lime in a mortar and pestle or in a bowl with a fork - again, be careful!

Tear some of the meat off of the rotisserie chicken and set it aside. When the broth starts to roll a bit, turn down the heat and put the lime juice and pepper mixture in it and stir it up. You could have that Bob Marley song playing for humorous motivation - I have at times. Taste the broth - and you're looking for a noticeable tang from the lime juice and a bit of heat from the pepper. Have I mentioned that you're going to sweat a bit? You'll be fine.

Cook the rice according to the instructions and leave it sitting on its own. Put the rest of the thinly sliced peppers into the broth - I never use more than 2 whole peppers unless I'm so congested that I sound like I've been a smoker my entire life - and I haven't. Don't be a baby, the heat won't kill you - it's the cold that will keep you miserable!

I put the chicken in last and let it heat in the broth just a bit. I put the rice in my bowl and then ladle the broth w/the chicken and peppers in it over the rice. I usually squeeze a fair amount of lime juice in my bowl, regardless of what the level of tang in the broth is up to now - it seems to help. There you have it - this stuff really works and the worst I've done is break a sweat eating this. My mouth hasn't paid a heavy price from the heat, nor has my belly. Not only does this work, I find it very soothing. So there you have it - try it and let me know the next time you have a cold!

Coffee Monkey

There's a song by a band called the Bottle Rockets (very cool name, by the way) about being addicted to coffee - the song's called Coffee Monkey. Short and sweet, the song totals all of two minutes and seven seconds and is one very cool country tune that is a great example of why I love under - the - radar country music more all the time. For anyone who knows me and is reading this, you've heard me talk about this kind of country music before, so I won't ramble on again. Besides, I want to talk a bit about coffee here.

My own relationship with coffee started in high school. It started in the worst way possible in terms of quality coffee - brace yourselves - I started by drinking instant coffee. As if that weren't bad enough, I put so much sugar in the stuff that I would eat it off the bottom with a spoon...and like it. Prior to this, I can remember seeing my parents drinking coffee with cream in it when I was a child and thinking that it was chocolate milk - which I liked. All it took was one small sip to convince me of just how wrong that was.

I hear people say they don't like coffee all the time. My own coffee drinking habits have changed quite a bit over the years and while my intake is limited to the hours before noon, I do rather enjoy my coffee. Fifteen years or so back, I used to brew a full pot - 12 cups by just about every manufacturer's standards, and drink it all. Sometimes I would put on another half pot or even full pot. Those days are gone, but I still drink coffee to start my day. Until recently I was drinking it with skim milk, but now I am favoring the flavored creamer stuff, oh man am I favoring that. Kind of reminds me of when I used to ski and coffee with Bailey's in it was so soothing and warming.

Every meal I have at my parents house has coffee making an appearance right before desert and while it's always decaff, it also has Kahlua in it - which has become a bit of a trademark for my stepfather. I'm okay with that one. I'd like to say that I don't drink all that much coffee. I don't actively seek out Starbucks or any other coffee shop, while I'm out and about running errands and I can't imagine (at least most days) getting up and leaving the house and getting my coffee fix anywhere outside the home.

I could set my coffee maker to have the coffee ready when I get up, but there's something about the routine of making it when I first get up and then making my bed, getting dressed and taking the dog out. Maybe this is something I need to work on and my routine would do better to have the coffee ready when I roll out of bed. Note to self: consider revising routine/setting the coffee maker before I go to bed in order to lessen the wait in the morning. It could work.

As for the amount of coffee I drink - well that depends on who you ask. If you ask me, I have three cups a day and it all ends before noon. If you ask the coffee maker, it would say that I drink eight cups a day. Eight cups? Really? I guess it's eight cups if you call the dainty little cup-and-saucer, wide mouthed, tea party cups that are destined to spill over at the slightest movement of either cup or saucer, cups - then yeah, it's eight of those cups. I don't like those cups, never have. I want a mug, that is a cup and I have three of those cups a day. So that's my stance on coffee - do I like it? Sure, but only under the parameters that I've mentioned. Can't drink it black, don't like it that way. Can't drink it with sugar in it, though the flavored creamer is pretty close to doing just that. No matter, it makes coffee more enjoyable to me. I wouldn't say I'll never ski again, and if indeed I do, I'm sure coffee and Bailey's will be there for me. I'm a very infrequent visitor to coffee shops, in fact, I still have two gift cards from Starbucks that I was given five years ago, near  as I can recall that is. So that's my take on coffee. That's the coffee monkey on my back.

Miracles, part two...

I'm struggling with something these days, and while I don't want to ramble on about it, I'll just say it's a matter of the heart. If I compare what I'm going through, I need to put it into its proper perspective and realize that while it's unfortunate and it does indeed suck, there are people I know who are going through much worse.

I have a good friend who asked me to be in his wedding a year ago this summer. That wedding was perhaps the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to, never mind that I was in it. There were no political invites to this wedding and the overall sense that every guest in attendance really wanted to be there was palpable. It was one amazing day from beginning to end. It was the high point of that summer. A little over a year later, two people that I stood up there with, whom I love and believe in, are officially divorced. I'm not the only one who is sad and shocked by this turn of events. Let's face it, all of us know people who are divorced - but when you stand up there with two people you believe in and love, it makes it hit a lot harder.

That's one thing I think about when I feel myself hurting in my current situation. And I do feel quite a bit of hurt in what has happened.

I have friends on my facebook list that I went to high school with, that I used to work with, and like anyone, some of these people are closer to me than others. Some of the friends from my high school class are people I never really talked to in school, some of them are people I did interact with. What's wonderful now is that all of us interact and talk now - both on facebook and in person.

Never mind how many years after high school we're looking at now - it's really not important. What is important, is that time has brought us all together. As a former classmate and swimming teammate of mine said earlier this summer, "We were hard on each other in school" - and I suppose much of the time we were. Now this many years past graduation, life - and technology, has brought us closer together and has us being kind to one another. How wonderful is that?

Life has thrown things at each and every one of us - blessings of all kinds and things that would seem to be anything but a blessing. I have classmates who have had setbacks in health, lost children, lost jobs, and gone through things that would test anyone's faith in both themselves and in a higher power.

I recently added another former classmate to my facebook friends list. I don't think I had two words with this woman in high school - in fact, I'm not sure I remember her from high school. What I have noticed from my other former classmates, via facebook, is that this woman is battling cancer again and that everyone is sending her good wishes and encouragement. So I wanted to jump into the crowd of people who are giving her good thoughts, prayers and pulling for her. All hands on deck folks, this is the stuff that's really important in life.

I don't know this woman well, or at all really - but what happens to any one of us, can and does oftentimes happen to us. There but for the grace of God, go I. What I have noticed about this woman,  is that her posts seem very upbeat and optimistic - and that can't be easy given all she's going through. She still seems to be laughing and that reminds me of a part in the book, The Secret, where a woman was diagnosed with cancer. Her and her husband made it a point to watch loads of funny movies and keep laughing. She credits the fact that she is now cancer free to all of that determined laughter.

I thought of that yesterday when I noticed a post that my former classmate, again someone I don't really know, was in her chemo treatment and she said she was watching Borat and politically incorrect as that was, she was laughing. In an instant I had a thought - I should send her every funny DVD I have and make sure she has ample ammunition of laughter in this battle. I commented on her post, telling her that I would be happy to loan her every DVD I have that I've gotten any amusement out of. She replied that would be nice and she emailed me her address. Fantastic, I would box up every funny DVD I have and send them down to Canton with the hope and prayer that this woman get more laughs than I have out of any of this stuff and that there is indeed miraculous healing powers in laughter.

So I did just that - bummer that I'd just thrown out a ton of boxes that stuff shipped to me from Amazon in. I only had two boxes and that wouldn't allow for all the funny stuff to go where it's needed. Off to the U-Haul store I went, returning with a rather large box and a tape gun. I rushed home and filled all three boxes with amusing videos, wrote a short letter letting her know that her and her family are in my thoughts and prayers, printed out something I wrote to amuse my coworkers from a few years back, threw in three LIVESTRONG wristbands saying that I'm now wearing one to remind me to think of the wonderful friends I have in my life who are battling cancer.

So maybe doing something nice for someone as they face something more difficult than I can even fathom, helps ease my own heartache and makes it a bit easier to deal with. It is my hope that Judy, the woman I sent these videos to, and who seems to be facing this battle head on with humor and incredible courage, laughs her way into healing and perfect health. I know I'm not the only one hoping for this and my broken heart is warmed by all the well wishes and healing thoughts being sent out to Judy and her family. It doesn't matter to me if I ever see these videos again, what matters is that Judy laugh her way back to health. So here's to the miraculous healing power in laughter and to people coming together to wish happiness, healing and health to a friend, wife, mother, daughter, sister - to anyone who simply needs it. Remember from an earlier post, I said I believe in miracles. Let's all believe in miracles, because miracles do happen.

My Favorite Childhood Memory

Perhaps my favorite childhood memory is of the times I stayed with my grandparents and my grandmother made her coffee cake. The joy I felt when I walked into her kitchen and saw that sitting on her counter is burned into my memory. Of course it's not the only fond memory I have of her, but now that she's gone, it's the one that makes me feel closest to her even now. There are so many other memories of her - how much she believed in me, and in all her children and grandchildren, how much she loved all of us, how strong she was in her faith and I'm sure I'm forgetting things at the moment as I sit here with a cup of coffee and, you guessed it, a piece of the most wonderful coffee cake ever.

I've always loved this coffee cake. It's a very simple recipe, but for me at least, there is no better coffee cake on the planet. This year my oven failed me in two attempts at this cake - which I haven't made in quite some time. The first attempt was a complete throw away. On Thanksgiving morning, I got up early enough to try again, this time with slightly better results - though the bottom and the edges were a bit too well done. It would have to do - I guess it's easy enough to slice those parts away from the good part, and I need to have this cake during the holidays because it makes me think of my grandmother. Any other memories I have of her are not ones I can feel her presence in as much as I do when I have this coffee cake - sounds a bit silly I know, but that's how it is.

How good is this coffee cake? In my opinion, it's the absolute best. I'm willing to bet there are a few Vincents out there who would say the same thing. I'm very particular about sharing this recipe, or the finished product itself with anyone. I made it for one woman I dated years ago and she  commented that a store bought coffee cake was her preference. Damn near blasphemy if you ask me. I love this cake so much that I smash every crumb into my fork leaving nothing on the plate - and it's been that way since I was a kid. If I share it, and I'm willing to mind you, I usually say a few words about what this cake means to me and that it would be best to keep that in mind should anyone want to comment.
Unreasonable as it may seem, I'm basically asking anyone I share with to love this cake as much as I do, and to me, having it is being in the presence of one of the most wonderful people I've ever known.

I've only shared the recipe twice. Once was to a friend and I don't think she made it, and the second time was this year, to a woman that I think highly of and thought might just be....well, the one. It appears I was mistaken in my thoughts there - which has me heading into the holidays a bit sad. So I will likely never know if she made this recipe and if she does, if it's as wonderful to her as it is to me.

No matter - whatever anyone else thinks of this coffee cake is not really important to me. What's important to me is how it makes me feel any time I have it. I feel like the young boy who walked into my grandmother's kitchen and instantly turned happy in my first waking moments because of the mere sight of this wonderful cake. I never had coffee with this stuff until I was in my 20's. Now I never have this cake without thinking of my grandmother, and I hope I never will because this is such a wonderful memory to have. Some day I'll share this recipe with a woman who will make this for me knowing just how much this simple coffee cake means to me and that doing so will go straight to my heart. I suppose for the briefest of moments, I thought the person I shared the recipe with recently would do that - I suppose I should have known better. Meanwhile, I sit here with a close approximation of what has become my favorite childhood memory, and in a small, yet very large way, my grandmother is here with me - and all the confidence in me, all the love she had for me is here. I'm glad that even today as a grown man, I can still see the beauty in that and still appreciate it. There are far worse ways to start a day off, but not many better.

The Holidays

So the holidays are upon us, yesterday was my birthday and I started the day in a completely wonderful way, taking an old family friend up on an invitation to attend services at the church she attends. I'm relatively strong in my faith, but that's a strength that can only go so far without being fed inspiration and getting a sense of all I forget to be thankful for, and the fact that there is a world of people out there that go so far beyond my own self-involvement. One of my things on my list of wants, is to become more grounded in my faith, so yesterday and a few other events in my life over the last two months seems to be pointing me towards doing just that.

The older I get, the less I care about receiving gifts on any occasion, and that includes birthdays. Each year as middle age strengthens its foothold on the boy trapped in a man's body, I tell myself that on my birthday I will be good to myself and build myself up. When I was younger, that often meant over indulging in a drum shop or a record store or clothing store. Yesterday I was happy to visit a church and find myself welcomed and appreciate the message that was being given yesterday. It was also nice to see a woman who was good friends with my older sister in high school - which was a long time ago.

Back then I was the younger and probably annoying brother of my older sister, and while I don't have a perfectly clear memory of those days, I do recall forcing my presence on my older sister and her friends at times - but that's what younger siblings do and that was far too long ago to feel guilty about now. I hadn't seen my sister's friend, Becky, for thirty years - and I have no idea the specifics of the last time I saw her, only a vague memory of when that had to have been. Earlier this year I reconnected with another old friend and I hadn't seen him for thirty years - it's a pretty good feeling and while age doesn't seem to register so much to me, time, at least when I stop to realize large periods of it like in these two cases, does indeed register.

These days I try to be mindful of all I have to be grateful for - and no matter how I may want things to change in my life, on my worst days there is still so much to be completely thankful for. Some things get overlooked entirely, yet if any one of them were removed from my life, I'd feel a huge loss. I'm a firm believe in being thankful and doing so invites more good into our lives. As we head into Thanksgiving, I appreciate the message from yesterday morning, I appreciate things like reconnecting with people after 30 years, I appreciate the many wonderful people I have as friends and my family, I appreciate the person who chose to spend the day with me yesterday and I was overwhelmed by how many others offered to spend any part of the day with me. As I told my mother yesterday, I had no idea I would be as popular as I felt yesterday. I'm thankful for all of this and more and I hope that I don't lose sight of any of the multitude of things I have to be grateful for in my life on a daily basis.

While I have long since grown tired of the major marketing campaign that Christmas has become, I do love the season. I'm a little sad for the days of being a kid in school and how having two weeks off from school seemed to make Christmas itself last that long. It's not about presents any more for me, at least not in terms of me getting them, all I want is to be able to see anyone and everyone that matters to me and that gets harder to do with each passing year and how spread out my family and friends are these days. I leave my family on Christmas night, a grown man and one that usually has to return to work the next day - and that makes me long for the Christmas nights I had as a child when I'd go to bed and feel like Christmas and all the wonderful memories I have of it as a child, would continue for a few more days.

Cracking The Code

Sometimes my job means cracking a code and figuring out what a server means when they key in an odd drink request. Most people who don't know much about bartending think that the number of drink recipes out there are far too intimidating and that's what they comment on - "I don't know how you know all those drinks and how to make them - I could never do that." - that type of thing. The fact of the matter is that you don't have to remember every drink recipe out there. As one former coworker put it, recipes are the least of your worries really. There are around 40 drinks that one would need to know how to make, that number being compiled from a list that I put together with my good friend Chris, who used to work with me. I'm not saying that there aren't loads more recipes out there, but those aren't the ones that come up very often, if at all.

Being a seasoned professional, I expect servers to have a basic knowledge of cocktails and I don't really care how many nights a week they work and what else they want to do with their life.  That being said, it's often frustrating at my current place of employment because the service staff - for the most part, is severely lacking in that respect. I shouldn't have to tell the same veteran servers things like a gin & tonic or vodka & tonic gets a lime, basic rules/choices for martinis, the differences between the wines we offer by the glass. But I do - and for the most part, none of the servers retain even the simplest of instructions, which means that what I remind them of today, I will often remind them of later, that same day - and tomorrow.

Sometimes this is annoying, but there are times when it's very, very amusing. I've gotten to the point where I'm pretty good at deciphering what a server has communicated to me and getting right to what it is that they want. I'll give two examples of this...uhm...talent:


On my bulletin board I have a drink ticket that reads as such:

1 bourbon
rocks
not quick
cherry

W.T.F.? - that was what I thought on a busy Saturday night when I read this ticket. I thought maybe I was supposed to wait a few minutes before I made this drink, because it says, in plain english, "not quick" - surely I don't want to make this drink right away right? Then again, it's Saturday night and that means a sense of urgency that's usually a bit more intense than a week night. I ask my manager, who just happens to be the sister of the woman who rang this drink, what, pray tell, her sister might have meant by these instructions. She has no idea. Says she'll send her sister to me to explain. Fine - until I get an explanation, "not quick" means I'll wait.

A few minutes later, up walks the server who rang this odd request. Here's what she said:


Server:  "oh...I do not know....that man from my big party in back room...he was drinking at bar before everybody coming"

My mind goes back to ninety or so minutes earlier when I had a gentleman sitting at my bar and having a cocktail while he waited for the rest of his party to arrive - ah, got it - the guy was drinking
Knob Creek bourbon...and yes, it was on the rocks and with a cherry. Problem solved. Chuckle saved.


The next example is perhaps my all-time favorite. It was given to me by a coworker who was working a large party and she was a bit in the weeds, or flustered. "Can I give you this list of drinks I need for the party and you make them for me - I'll ring them up as soon as I can?"

I limit the amount of verbal orders I take - generally the rule is that if you need something, you ring it up. If you make exceptions on a regular basis there are servers who will abuse this and see you as a pushover for any and all shortcuts that will save them time and cause you problems. I've learned how to spot the ones who don't abuse making a rare exception to the rules.

Having said that, this is the list that Julie, the server in this part of my story, gave me one night:

1 gl KJ Chardonnay
1 vodka & tonic
1 vodka martini, rocks w/an olive
1 Jack Daniels
Cider box

None of this posed a problem until I got to the last one - huh? Cider box? That's a new one - and I rarely have to consult a book on how to make a drink. C's.....hmmm, nothing under Cider Box, not even close. One more try looking under A, for Apple Cider - I got nothing folks. I wait for Julie to return to the bar, and this is where, with my years of experience, I break through and crack the code:

Me: "Jules, I made your drinks, but I'm coming up blank for the Cider Box...can you ask them how that drink might be made?"

Julie: "I guess, I mean I figured you would know....he just said he wanted Jack Daniels, cider box"

Ah....now I think I've got it! I'm guessing the guy said "Jack Daniels, side of rocks" - and I was right. This particular episode made for quite a few laughs for quite some time. That's all for now!

Really?

I work in a place that raises questions constantly - silly questions that come up over, and over, and over again. Just when I think I'm done scratching my head over how the people I work with and for do things, they throw something else into the mix and the whole thing starts over. Last night I stood in wonder as one of the owners walked behind the bar with what amounts to a very cool junior high school shop project. I say junior high because that's about the age range for someone to actually think what she was intending on putting behind the bar was actually cool and/or appealing.

What did she have? Brace yourself - it's not pretty, not even close. She was holding a half gallon empty Tanqueray Gin bottle, lovely shade of green that those are, that had a light socket fitted on the opening and the wrong kind of light bulb in the socket which made the red lamp shade sit all caddwampus on it.
Oh no she didn't - how could she? Really? Oh but she did - and she was proud of it! Who is proud of such tackiness? She was folks, I swear to you, she was.

There are times when a thought comes to my head and the instant that it does, words come out of my mouth. Most of the time I'm safe from that happening - but there are times when it just happens and last night was one of those times. Here's how it played out:

Me (speaking): "That is the tackiest thing I've ever seen!"

My boss (speaking, assuming she was being informative): "That's a Tanqueray bottle."

Me (thinking, being amazed, confused and a host of other things): Duh. Double duh! Really? Really twice, three, four times. Duh. Fucking duh. Not only is it a Tanqueray bottle, but it's a flippin' half gallon Tanqueray bottle with a handle on the back and now it's sitting behind the bar lit up like it's something to display proudly. Right where my credit card terminal should be so that I don't have to walk all the way across the restaurant when I need to run a credit card for a customer - yes, much better to have an empty gin bottle that's made into a crappy looking lamp, than to have something that would actually make a job I do very well just a little bit easier - but no, you always,always seem to make it harder. I know what that is, I'm amazed that you actually think it's something that looks good and had to be placed there - but it's your place, do what you want. Don't expect me not to laugh though, and boy am I ever laughing. So are my customers I might add - yes, I will add that they too are getting a laugh over this newest addition. So there, I said it.

Yes folks, there is a tacky lamp made from an empty half gallon bottle of gin, sitting right beside the register behind my bar - and yes, it is my bar when I'm back there, 'cause I rule behind that bar, and rule supreme people. Thankfully Halloween has passed and the giant hellish Jester with the light-up demon eyes is gone. My boss said that when she was at Mr. Fun she saw a similar looking figure that was dressed as a waiter with a tray of drinks - said she was going to buy it because it looked like me. Thanks? I shudder to think of what she must have paid for the giant hellish court jester - it can't have been cheap. I scratch my head when I think that the best place she thought to put such a thing, and mind you this hellish looking thing was not well received, was right by the time clock at the front desk - really? From my standpoint, I don't want something like this anywhere near me. I also can't for the life of me wrap my head around anyone, even a Chinese woman, saying that this hellish court jester, all of seven feet tall with its light-up demon eyes is.....wait for it........cute.

Cute is any of the following: puppies, kittens, babies/children, ducklings, bunnies...it is so not some hellish skeleton court jester towering over you with red L.E.D. eyes - Halloween or not. My boss said that the red lamp shade that sits caddywampus on the gin lamp is going to bring me good luck. Luck? I've got better things than luck in my favor, but thank you...I suppose. I'm wondering just how long this gin lamp is going to be there. I'm okay with it as a source of amusement - but I can find more things to laugh at around that place than I can find grains of rice, and I work in a Thai place folks. 

So I write...

Music has been a huge part of my life since I was a child. My father played drums and listened to music whenever he wanted, which often failed to consider things like his children sleeping or his wife not wanting to deal with the noise. Having said that, I learned from my earliest days to appreciate good music and it has carried through to my adult years. I started getting interested in playing drums after watching drummers on television shows like "Don Kirshner's Rock Concert" or "The Midnight Special" - until that point I'm not sure that I had much interest in music, I was more interested in sports.

My father had practically no interest in sports, so I could probably count the number of times he tossed a football or baseball with me on one hand. Thankfully my uncle Ron was tireless in tossing footballs and baseballs with me. Looking back at how much he did that and how important it was to me, I can't thank him enough. I simply wouldn't know that experience if it weren't for him. Ron spent loads of his time doing those kinds of things for me and talking to me while he was doing it. To this very day, I can see him standing across from me and I can feel being a bit nervous about how hard he was going to hurl the next one at me - and I'm certain that he wasn't tossing anything anywhere near as hard as he could've.

Not only did Ron know that doing something like this was important to me, he knew exactly how long the game had to last in order for me to get the most out of it. Most young boys want this experience and go through phases where they think they'll be an athlete when they grow up - I was no different. I wanted to experience this kind of thing and I wouldn't have the memory of it if it weren't for Ron. I had other uncles who would take the time to toss a ball with me, I had friends to play football and baseball with, but it's Ron who spent the most time doing this kind of thing with me and making sure I got the kind of energy release that a young boy needs. I'm eternally grateful for that and those moments of tossing a ball back and forth with my uncle Ron are at the top of my favorite childhood memories.

I suppose I gravitated towards the drums because seeing various drummers on television made me feel like rock drumming was pretty close to athletics and if I couldn't convince my own father to toss a baseball or a football with me, maybe I stood a chance of him spending time with me at the drum kit. That never happened - but my own interest in the drums and in music did take off on it's own. It was often frustrating, particularly at the start. My parents did not have a healthy marriage and my father was completely narcissistic - which never bodes well in a marriage or a family. My parents divorced and things got tougher for all of us for a bit. My mother held our family together and gave my sisters and I every worthy value that any of us hold as adults. I don't know how she did it when I think about those days now - I didn't care how she did it when we were all in the midst of things all those years ago, and I had no concept of how hard things must have been for her then. Those kinds of things change when you grow up - boy do they ever!

Over the years I would pick up and drop my interest in drums and music. I loved music then, and I love it now - though more as a listener. I never liked so much of what goes with being a musician - even on the best days. I'm fine with practicing, playing - but the reality is that there are so many more things that go along with being a musician, even as a hobby, that I simply don't like. To me, those things took away from the actual playing and the music. Things like driving home after playing four sets in a bar with your ears fried and not wanting to hear a thing on the drive home. I hated driving home when I simply wanted to be home.

In the end, after many years of going back and forth with my love of music and absorbing myself in it only to remove myself from it, I felt that on my best days behind a drum kit that I was a mere imitator and as much fun as that was at times, I felt that I should be more after the number of years I'd been at it. While I've got a long ways to go as a writer - particularly when I think of people like my friend Dianne, who writes so well that I often feel like she invented the entire English language, I've always, from my earliest memories of writing assignments in school, felt that I have a unique voice/way of saying something. So I've always written and always felt like I've wanted to write. That writing takes several forms and there are times when I don't like the solitude of it, but I write through those moments. I like words, I like how mere words can have such an effect and do so much good - so I write.

Friend Rich

Friend rich is a term I use a lot these days. Having friends has never felt better than it does at this stage of the journey. I recently reconnected with a very dear old friend after far too many years of being completely out of touch with him. The return of this particular friend is the high point of this year that is now nearly over with. It's funny, a bit ironic that when my parents divorced all those years ago and my mother moved my sisters and I to another town & school system, my friend suggested some kind of CB radio that would enable us to talk endlessly, like teenagers did on the phone in those days.

No one had cell phones in those days - I guess CB radios were the precursors to cellular phones and not everyone had those. I never got one and eventually I fell out of touch with one of the best friends I've ever had. We stayed in touch a bit after the move, but things just seemed to have a different course for us both. The last time I saw my old friend - until last week that is, was in 1980 on a Kent State bus. Ten minutes or so of gab about nothing much at all - the band I was in at the time, that's about all I can remember talking about all those years ago. Some years later I worked in a drum shop and my old friend's cousin came in now & then to buy sticks. I remember asking about my friend, Joe, and his cousin said he thought he'd moved to Florida - though he didn't stay in touch w/him and wasn't really sure.

Somehow that made me give up hope of getting in touch with Joe again, and that was sad. Early this summer I did a google search and found him on Face Book. When I saw his hometown, I knew that was him - it's sometimes tough to tell much from the tiny thumbnail pictures that are on Face Book when you reach middle age. I suppose I wondered if Joe had forgotten me - I should've known better really, but when you get to be middle aged, memory isn't quite as clear as it used to be. It's all a matter of degrees though.

Now is where the irony of Joe's suggestion of a CB radio all those years ago comes in. Through Face Book two old friends can reconnect. I can see pictures that fill in some of the space of a hole that spanned more years than I would've liked. In a matter of split seconds, I can get an IM or a text from Joe for no reason at all other than a good morning or a laugh. There were always serious laughs when Joe and I hung out - always. We pursued all things funny like it was our job - and maybe it was. All these years later, it's a complete joy to know that we still laugh like the 13 year old boys we were several lifetimes ago.

Through Skype, I can video chat with Joe - which is much better than a CB radio and I'm happy to say that the laughs flow every time I talk with Joe, we always laugh about something. We always did laugh about things. I'm glad, blessed actually, that I reconnected with my dear old friend while we're still young enough to remember all the things we laughed about when we were kids. Neither one of us are close to the boys we were when we first became friends, but we still laugh as though we were.

Last week I got to hang out with Joe a bit when he was in town for his niece's wedding. The youngest of 9, Joe had a week to see all kinds of family and friends and when you're only home for that short of time, if you have 4 people that you want and need to see, time runs out pretty quickly. So I was glad to get any hang time with my old friend at all. So much has happened in the far too many years since we were hanging out or talking regularly. Not all of it is good, certainly not all of it is bad and I like the feeling of the best being yet to come - even if I don't really know what that best may be.

We got together for lunch and waited over an hour for hamburgers - albeit good hamburgers, but really, does a hamburger need to take an hour? I'm kind of glad they did take so long actually, because my old friend and I never had the pleasure of having a beer together - at least not that I can recall. So there were lots of laughs while we waited for lunch to arrive. After lunch we decided to go uptown...or is it downtown - and have a drink at a bar. The bar had a really bad beer selection, so I suggested a couple of Rolling Rocks - which was a horrible call, and it was mine.

We drank Newcastle Brown Ale at lunch - which went down pretty easy. Rolling Rocks, on the other hand, were sheer torture with every sip. It felt like I was a kid again and I just hated every sip of beer I took, but kept doing it anyway. I don't know where or how I heard Rolling Rock referred to as "green death", but that's exactly what it seemed like every sip of the 12 ounces I had in front of me. I've had green death before, though not for a long, long time. Joe hated every drink just as I did. Somehow the fact that this bar had Labatt's blue escaped me - because I would've picked that. At one point I jokingly suggested that whiskey would go down easier than the beer we were drinking.


"Give us two shots of Seagram's V.O.!", Joe said after I suggested anything, even whiskey, would taste better than the beers we seemed to be suffering through. I generally stay as far away from whiskey as I can, and I had to work in a couple of hours, so I just couldn't cave on this. As it is, I'd pushed the envelope a bit further than I should have. It wasn't easy to part company with Joe and head into work - I wondered if I'd get to hang with him again before he went back to California. As it turns out, I got to spend all of Tuesday afternoon and most of the evening with Joe. I can't even put into words how much it means to me to have this guy back in my life as a friend after so many years. There may be 3,000 plus miles between us, but the connection is still as strong as it ever was.

This is but one example of how friend rich I am - and make no mistake about it, this one means a lot. The older I get, the more the bonds of longstanding friendships strengthen. How is it that I'm so blessed to pick up friendships that have existed at various points in my life and feel such a true appreciation for how someone has touched my life and I theirs? Seems like divine intervention to me.
I feel so fortunate to have all of the longstanding friendships that I now cherish in my life. Staying in touch and communicating has never been easier and being easier just plays into the fact that I've never forgotten so many wonderful people in my life. The older any of us get, the less it seems that we actually get to spend physical time with people who have come into our lives and then gone out of them - but you don't forget, you mustn't forget - not a single soul who has meant something to you in your life. For me, it's the ones that still remain standing and the fact that they continue to do so having survived pain, sorrow and heartbreaking life events that have only served to highlight the better things that someone can enhance in this journey we're all on. While I'll take live and in person any day of the week over an email, IM, text or a phone call, it's an absolute joy to have someone from my past that I shared days with contact me and let me know that they haven't forgotten me. That my friends is what I call friend rich! By the way, Rolling Rock will never flow down my gullet again and Joe said the same thing!