National Donut Day. Seriously? As one friend said, we can do better. Oh I've eaten me some donuts, make no mistake about it people, some serious donuts - and I've provided quite a few donuts to my coworkers over the years. You could even say I loved donuts, but I've never given a thought to National Donut Day. Just how national is this "holiday"? Will my mail still come? I mean, I am expecting my new pair of Keens from Zappos, and for the love of God, I've got to get to the bank - which damn well better not be closed for National Donut Day - because so help me God, I will write to my congressman.
No worries I'm sure. A mild Google search - because there's only so much time I actually want to spend looking into something as ridiculous as National Donut Day, comes up with this "holiday" originating in 1938...started by the Salvation Army. Really. Imagine the sarcastic tone in my voice as I say that I knew they were good for something. Really? National Donut Day? That and about a month of having people man posts while ringing a bell outside of grocery stores is what you're proud of? Why not have those bells ringing every day of the year and drop the whole National Donut Day thing altogether? Trust me, donuts will survive.
Look, I'm not saying that I will never eat another donut again - because I might. I can guarantee you that donuts will never be the regular habit for me that they once were, and I can tell you that I find some of these national food days more than a little silly. For those of you with your calendars marked in anticipation, there are three more national food days in the month of June - according to Wikipedia, which, for the sake of this meaningless post, I shall take as gospel. Those food days are:
June 16th - National Vinegar Day - *yawn*
June 17th - Eat Your Vegetables Day - This was every night at dinner at my mother's and grandmother's table, and when I think of the hours I spent in protest....
June 25th - National Catfish Day - Originating in 1987, and by Presidential Proclamation no less. Really, well, I mean according to Wikipedia, which again, gospel.
Here's a heads up: July 3rd - Eat Beans Day. No origin in the gospel on this one, but I think it's safe to say that this one may well coincide with the following national days (at least it should):
National Open Windows After Dinner Day
Hotbox Your Friend Day
Dutch Oven Day
National Light a Fart Day
For those of you who are a bit slower on the take today, or perhaps not yet one cup in, those are bean references...y'know, beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more you....
National Donut Day. Really.
