I ran across an interesting post from the Seeded Buzz blog networking site entitled, 356 Facebook Friends, Don't Know My Neighbor's Name. It appears that the full post has been removed, so I didn't read it. It did make me start thinking about my own list of friends on Facebook and the contrast between the online world and the actual world. I tend to favor the actual world I walk around in, because that's where true interaction happens. The world I walk around in is filled with reality and choices on how I see that reality, how I let it affect me. At best, the online world gets close to real when I'm using it to stay in touch with people that I've had in my life in the world that I walk around in every day.
I have a little less than 300 friends on Facebook. All but a handful of them are people that I've known from various times in my life, many are people I used to work with. One person requested me as a friend because he has the same last name and it turns out that we have a thing or two in common, such as a love of music. He also looks a bit like my relatives on my father's side of the family. A couple of people are on my friend list because they liked my comments on a mutual friend's page and then requested me.
There are times when Facebook can be a grand waste of time - I try to distance myself from that kind of involvement. I'm not a fan of the games and applications that find ways to access more information - and I don't see that changing. There are people who have nothing but updates from the game applications they play on their page..."John Q. Public just finished building a barn in Farmville", "John Q. Public just robbed a bank in Gangsterville"...Meh. Who cares? Not me. I did try one mob game that I kept getting requests to join with various friends and I think I lasted about a month with it. I dropped it because it just didn't appeal to me and I haven't looked back. To each his own...
I don't really talk to most of the people on my friend list, but there are a few that I interact with regularly. I like having contact with people who mean something to me from various points in my life. It's nice to know that I haven't been forgotten and letting someone know that I still think of them. I would much rather interact with anyone in person, but sometimes distance prevents that. Social networking is a bit like pen pals on steroids - no physical contact, merely sharing thoughts and pictures and not having to wait for a hand-written letter. It's a little bit sad that today's younger people may never experience the feeling of opening a hand written letter from someone who cares about them - indeed the very thought of such a thing may never cross their mind.
I generally don't request friends on Facebook unless I know them or know of them, so all but a few of my friends there are people who know me. I have no idea what the ratio of me requesting/them requesting is and it doesn't really matter. I could tell you where I know each Facebook friend from and I could share a story or two about them all, some would take a bit longer than others. I read something once that referred to Facebook as a "glorified photo sharing site" - I kind of disagree with that. For me at least, it's an easy way of staying in touch with people that have shared places and times in my life with me - and that means a lot to me. I also know the names of both neighbors on either side of me and a few others...
Sarcasm spoken here
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Buzz, Crop, Seed
Those three words together make this sound like a post about pot - it's not. Those three words together make me sound like someone who smokes pot - I'm not. Why then, am I using those words together at all when I can just picture lovers of herb being disappointed that their google search has led them to this post? I recently joined a blog networking site called Seeded Buzz. I'm not quite sure that I get it, at least in the way the site hopes I get it - revenue folks. What I'm getting out of it so far, is an idea of what different people write about. Sometimes that helps, sometimes it inspires. I'm not so sure that I want to consistently write about things that someone else writes about and dedicate entire posts to my version of their post, but it's interesting to get a glimpse of others and what they write about. Maybe my time around people who smoke pot can't help but come to mind when I see the words seed and buzz standing next to one another. If I see the word buzz and the word Woody together, well, I can't help but think of the movie Toy Story and no, I've never watched it while I was buzzed.
What you're supposed to do on the Seeded Buzz site, is find posts (seeds) and write (buzz) about them and link the writer's blog. I guess it helps build a larger audience for your own blog, surely that would help if your blog is actually generating revenue from ads - this one currently isn't. Last night I was up far too late browsing seeds in search of something interesting. I found several posts, some of which were a little misleading with their titles given the content, some better than others. What I'd like to do here is drop a handful of seeds at a time from a few titles in one fell swoop. If anyone from Seeded Buzz is reading, don't worry - I'll link the blog titles. If anyone is still reading with the hope of an altered state meaning of the words buzz and seed - leave now, or prepare to be disappointed.
Moving on, here are the titles of some seeds/posts that I found interesting enough to say a thing or two about and some of my thoughts on them:
What you're supposed to do on the Seeded Buzz site, is find posts (seeds) and write (buzz) about them and link the writer's blog. I guess it helps build a larger audience for your own blog, surely that would help if your blog is actually generating revenue from ads - this one currently isn't. Last night I was up far too late browsing seeds in search of something interesting. I found several posts, some of which were a little misleading with their titles given the content, some better than others. What I'd like to do here is drop a handful of seeds at a time from a few titles in one fell swoop. If anyone from Seeded Buzz is reading, don't worry - I'll link the blog titles. If anyone is still reading with the hope of an altered state meaning of the words buzz and seed - leave now, or prepare to be disappointed.
Moving on, here are the titles of some seeds/posts that I found interesting enough to say a thing or two about and some of my thoughts on them:
- Secret Tips To Overcome Failure - There really are some good points in this post, but lately when I think of failure, I think of a Sean Penn quote from a Rolling Stone article that really hit the nail right on the head: "Fail all you want - but fucking TRY." We miss 100% of the shots we don't take - that's another quote, one from a friend who used to be my boss. Secret? Not really - one simply has to want it. Failure means you're trying - I'd rather fail at trying something I really want and I hope I always keep trying. http://www.lookingformylife.com/home/2010/4/8/secret-tips-to-overcome-your-fear-of-failure.html, http://www.todaysleaderonline.com/archives/2010/08/286/, http://www.sugarfilledemotions.com/2010/04/i-am-a-failure/
- Why did you give your blog a name? What does it say about you & your blog? - My memory is a bit vague on my answer to the first part of this question. I remember typing in a bunch of stuff and having it come back as unavailable. I got tired of that process - and maybe I should've gone into the process a bit more prepared, but that really is how I arrived at the name of this blog and yes, I've thought better of it a few times. What does it say about me? About the blog? I dunno and I'm not going on Dr. Phil to find out. http://www.practiceofmadness.com/, http://whereeveryouhangyourhat.blogspot.com, http://www.sugarfilledemotions.com/2010/07/what-does-the-title-of-your-blog-mean/
- It Just Bugs Me - Lord, could I ever ramble about things that bug me - in myself, from others. It bugs me when something in my refrigerator smells - and for two reasons: the first being that I let it get to that point, the second being that it's already too late to stop that smell from taking over the kitchen. Run. Honorable mention goes to whatever it is that causes the horrid stench is often not easy to find. That one is on me. In others? Laziness and being proud of it, someone not knowing the difference between to/too/two, you are/you're, affect/effect - and insisting that they're right or answering such an edit defensively with something like "Whatever..." Can you dig it? It bugs me when I lose my temper - even if I may have been justified in doing so. It bugs me when someone who is waiting on me responds as such to the following question: Me: Hi, how are you doing? Them: I'll be doing GREAT just as soon as I get out of here! Really? http://ladaisi.blogspot.com/2010/11/it-just-bugs-me.html, http://www.beautymadefresh.net/2010/11/balance-yourself-out.html, http://conanhughes.blogspot.com/2010/11/making-things-work-out-for-you.htm
- What are you thankful for? Oh man, is this one cool or what? On my worst days I hope I can always look around if I'm in a funk and find something to laugh or smile about. On my friends' worst days I hope I can always help them find something to laugh or smile about. What am I thankful for? Damn near everything I hope, because all of it means I'm alive. The old adage about the glass being half empty or half full is, to me at least, a win/win situation - simply put, it's "do you want to bitch about it or do you want to see it as a good thing?" Think about it - if the glass is half full, you've still got something to drink if you're thirsty. If it's half empty, well now you're not so thirsty, you had something to drink in the first place, and there's still a little more...so it must be good! http://www.cheremichelle.com/2010/06/185/, http://www.cjpwisdomandlife.com/2010/11/being-thankful.html, http://www.practiceofmadness.com/, http://www.sugarfilledemotions.com/2010/06/a-time-to-be-thankful/
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Another seed/topic
*sigh* - alright, here's another topic I found interesting on the Seeded Buzz site: Authenticity in blogging. Not sure I gave that much thought really. To date I follow very few blogs - one of them is my friend Dianne's food blog and I've no reason to question the authenticity there, another is by a woman who lives on San Juan Island and posts amazing pictures of wildlife native to the San Juan Islands - no reason for doubt there either. By the way, those two blogs, respectively are: A Stove With A House Around It and Orca Watcher, and I highly recommend both. The post about authenticity in blogs is http://www.puttingthefunindysfunctional.com/2011/01/authenticity-in-blogging.html and there's an additional post at http://rantsnrascals.com/bloggers-and-integrity.
I don't want to say too much here - I view my own blog as authentic, but for one post that had me attempting to write humorously about horoscopes, and I don't see horoscopes as holding much in the way of authenticity, but that's just me folks. Everything else here is pretty much me - I may go so far as giving a specific person's first name and some of you who read this blog may actually know that person if you know me. You may also know exactly who I am talking...er, writing about even if I don't mention a name. Some of you have actually told me that you like having a cameo in a post or two. This blog is the real deal folks, rambling and all. Truth be told, I'd love it if more of you actually commented here as opposed to commenting on face book - but whatever works for you! Should anyone want to question the authenticity of anything I've posted here, bring it. I can 'splain anything that's here.
I'll close this post with my thoughts on authenticity of bloggers that sell things and therefore get paid money from others. There's no wiggle room here - if you're selling something to someone and using your blog as a means of doing that, then you need to be 100% authentic. Don't rip people off. It's that simple! So there you have it - the blogs I read and/or follow are authentic and so is this one!
I don't want to say too much here - I view my own blog as authentic, but for one post that had me attempting to write humorously about horoscopes, and I don't see horoscopes as holding much in the way of authenticity, but that's just me folks. Everything else here is pretty much me - I may go so far as giving a specific person's first name and some of you who read this blog may actually know that person if you know me. You may also know exactly who I am talking...er, writing about even if I don't mention a name. Some of you have actually told me that you like having a cameo in a post or two. This blog is the real deal folks, rambling and all. Truth be told, I'd love it if more of you actually commented here as opposed to commenting on face book - but whatever works for you! Should anyone want to question the authenticity of anything I've posted here, bring it. I can 'splain anything that's here.
I'll close this post with my thoughts on authenticity of bloggers that sell things and therefore get paid money from others. There's no wiggle room here - if you're selling something to someone and using your blog as a means of doing that, then you need to be 100% authentic. Don't rip people off. It's that simple! So there you have it - the blogs I read and/or follow are authentic and so is this one!
New stuff/mix tapes
I recently joined a blog networking site called Seeded Buzz, and while I'm not sure just how much time I want to spend reading blogs on the web, so far the site has been very inspiring. I am finding it interesting to see how others write and what they choose to write about. The older I get, the more I feel like I can't possibly read enough, learn enough and write enough. As my writing heads in different directions, one of the things that I've always loved about writing is simply getting my thoughts out - either for someone else to see, or just to release it and/or gain a better understanding for my own well being. Sometimes that helps more than others.
Ok, so this Seeded Buzz thing, right? The first post, er, seed, that inspired me to write about is one entitled Mixtape (http://ladaisi.blogspot.com/2010/12/mixtape.html) - a bit coincidental as I recently did a series of three posts about a playlist (the current medium for mixtapes) that I did for someone.
I found some interesting points to ponder in this post; having cassettes around, music collection that is a combination of store bought and burned - no one uses the terms recorded or dubbed these days, and listening to music with tunnel vision until you get sick of it. Seeing as how I have real work to do, I'll attempt to plant my first seed while I wake up with my coffee...
My own music collection has taken various forms over the years, as well as enduring growth and shrinkage. I was going to say that I have a very large music collection - but then I read a comment from someone who has 8,000 or so CD's...
No matter, most people would say that my music collection is both impressive and large - I'm not concerned with size so much as I am with the enjoyment factor, which is very high. I've spent a fair amount of money on recorded music over the years. I've made lots of mix tapes that have either served to save me from radio deciding what I listen to while driving, or to hip someone to music that I enjoy and think is worth sharing. In terms of the medium that my collection is made up of, I never thought I'd say it, but iTunes is a very convenient way to manage/enjoy a rather large amount of music. A lot less hassle. I grew up in the vinyl era and at one time had a lot of LP's. No matter how convenient dropping the bulk of vinyl may be, I still miss the format for the cover art and liner notes. I also still refer to music as albums, though that seems to be fading off a bit. I skipped the whole 8-track thing and I'm glad I did. When CD's came out, it didn't take me long to, as one friend put it, take that quantum leap. I very nearly caved and bought one of those 3" mini CD player/recorders - but the same friend busted my chops enough to make me realize just how foolish that would've been. I may actually have a cassette or two laying around somewhere, but I couldn't hazard a guess as to what might be on the tape. Being the giver that I am, I tend to burn or loan music quite a bit. These days my collection is listened to mostly on the computer and it's made up of near equal parts of mp3 and hard copy compact discs. I have a cross country move in the works and I'm seriously considering jettisoning the hard copy stuff - but I have attachment issues.
I'm embarrassed to admit how long it took me to realize just how cool an iPod is - and I'll use my good friend Doug's line here - it's pretty damn cool to be able to carry around an entire music collection in something that's basically the size of a pack of cigarettes. My iPod is currently an 8gb iTouch, so I can't carry my entire collection around - but carrying around the 1,000 plus songs that the pod lets me do while being about the size of a candy bar (much better reference than a pack of smokes) is much easier than having the number of CD's in my car. I still have a ton of CD's, but I have to say that I like the convenience of the mp3 tunes and for the most part, I haven't really noticed the sound quality not being as good.
As far as listening to music I love with tunnel vision, I like to think I'm pretty good at taking steps to avoid that - but it does still happen now and then. When I was in college and INXS came out with the Listen Like Thieves album, I knew I was in danger of playing What You Need to the point of getting so sick of it that I'd never want to hear it again. I couldn't stop - great guitar riffs always get me, ergo my playing that first cut to the point of not wanting to hear it again. Since then I try to ration myself - and I'm lucky that there's so much music that appeals to me. I've often said that nothing works for me all the time, but when it does work, it works very well. I'm a moody music listener and there's always something playing - and it always has an effect on me, at least to some extent. That being said, having a large music collection and being open to new music is a bit like having a well stocked refrigerator or pantry - it's nice to have choices to make in different directions.
Ok, so this Seeded Buzz thing, right? The first post, er, seed, that inspired me to write about is one entitled Mixtape (http://ladaisi.blogspot.com/2010/12/mixtape.html) - a bit coincidental as I recently did a series of three posts about a playlist (the current medium for mixtapes) that I did for someone.
I found some interesting points to ponder in this post; having cassettes around, music collection that is a combination of store bought and burned - no one uses the terms recorded or dubbed these days, and listening to music with tunnel vision until you get sick of it. Seeing as how I have real work to do, I'll attempt to plant my first seed while I wake up with my coffee...
My own music collection has taken various forms over the years, as well as enduring growth and shrinkage. I was going to say that I have a very large music collection - but then I read a comment from someone who has 8,000 or so CD's...
No matter, most people would say that my music collection is both impressive and large - I'm not concerned with size so much as I am with the enjoyment factor, which is very high. I've spent a fair amount of money on recorded music over the years. I've made lots of mix tapes that have either served to save me from radio deciding what I listen to while driving, or to hip someone to music that I enjoy and think is worth sharing. In terms of the medium that my collection is made up of, I never thought I'd say it, but iTunes is a very convenient way to manage/enjoy a rather large amount of music. A lot less hassle. I grew up in the vinyl era and at one time had a lot of LP's. No matter how convenient dropping the bulk of vinyl may be, I still miss the format for the cover art and liner notes. I also still refer to music as albums, though that seems to be fading off a bit. I skipped the whole 8-track thing and I'm glad I did. When CD's came out, it didn't take me long to, as one friend put it, take that quantum leap. I very nearly caved and bought one of those 3" mini CD player/recorders - but the same friend busted my chops enough to make me realize just how foolish that would've been. I may actually have a cassette or two laying around somewhere, but I couldn't hazard a guess as to what might be on the tape. Being the giver that I am, I tend to burn or loan music quite a bit. These days my collection is listened to mostly on the computer and it's made up of near equal parts of mp3 and hard copy compact discs. I have a cross country move in the works and I'm seriously considering jettisoning the hard copy stuff - but I have attachment issues.
I'm embarrassed to admit how long it took me to realize just how cool an iPod is - and I'll use my good friend Doug's line here - it's pretty damn cool to be able to carry around an entire music collection in something that's basically the size of a pack of cigarettes. My iPod is currently an 8gb iTouch, so I can't carry my entire collection around - but carrying around the 1,000 plus songs that the pod lets me do while being about the size of a candy bar (much better reference than a pack of smokes) is much easier than having the number of CD's in my car. I still have a ton of CD's, but I have to say that I like the convenience of the mp3 tunes and for the most part, I haven't really noticed the sound quality not being as good.
As far as listening to music I love with tunnel vision, I like to think I'm pretty good at taking steps to avoid that - but it does still happen now and then. When I was in college and INXS came out with the Listen Like Thieves album, I knew I was in danger of playing What You Need to the point of getting so sick of it that I'd never want to hear it again. I couldn't stop - great guitar riffs always get me, ergo my playing that first cut to the point of not wanting to hear it again. Since then I try to ration myself - and I'm lucky that there's so much music that appeals to me. I've often said that nothing works for me all the time, but when it does work, it works very well. I'm a moody music listener and there's always something playing - and it always has an effect on me, at least to some extent. That being said, having a large music collection and being open to new music is a bit like having a well stocked refrigerator or pantry - it's nice to have choices to make in different directions.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Customer Service
I just got off the phone with two credit card companies. I did a balance transfer and wanted to make sure it went down just as I intended it to. Let's face it folks, if you're going to call any customer service line for anything these days, you're going to have to put yourself in a proverbial Trojan horse just to get even a minimal task accomplished. I don't know which I hate more - the automated lines that basically slap you around with your own personal information, or actually speaking to a representative that I can count on for one, or both of the following things: a) this person will be extremely difficult to understand b) this person will not shut the f*** UP! and give me a millisecond to say something like, oh I dunno, no thank you.
I'll explain. First I call card company A, and I have to play mental hopscotch tossing out part of my card number, the last 4 digits of duh and the Latin name for my pet. Then I have to listen to a vague offering of options - not choosing just yet because the actual option for what I'm trying to accomplish may be next - it turns out that it's not, and now I need to listen again and hope I choose something that gets me close. This is a crap shoot. No matter, now I'm through the automated preliminary baloney (I hate baloney) and I'm actually speaking with a real person.
Every time I get to this point, I feel relieved at first. I said at first, and that doesn't last but a second or two. A second or two when you're on your business end of a customer service call can be agonizingly long - either when you have to listen, or talk. I say this because I've already given the last 4 digits of 2 sets of numbers that identify me. For security purposes, I've done it via keys on my phone - couple of times, and I've spoken them - couple of times. Now I'm getting somewhere, right?
Not so fast. Now what I'm actually getting, is annoyed that the person I'm speaking to is determined to sign me up for some service that will add additional charges to my account. I want to ask if I can talk to this customer service rep via SKYPE - because I want to see his supervisor standing beside him holding a loaded gun to his head to make sure he informs me about this program that will only benefit me and will do so "for what amounts to only 35 cents a day" - what I want to say, is that I'm not sure where he's talking from, but here in America, what amounts to 35 cents a day is a dime and a quarter...but I hold my tongue. I probably do that because I can't get a flippin' word in edgewise anyway and for the love of God, I should be able to - because I'm the guy who called in the first place!
I lose count of how many times the rep repeats all the benefits I would reap on a daily basis if I would only choose to sign up for the introductory offer, and if I like the program (he does everything but say I'd be retarded if I didn't like the program) then I can access the benefits any time I choose - and just to make sure I will like the program, they will send me the information in writing. That makes it better, says he, because then I have the option of reviewing the information in the comfort of my home. Indeed I do have that option - and the option of climbing up a tree to review it, maybe taking it to a Starbucks and reviewing it...but what I'm currently going through, is so annoying that I can't really see much benefit to me at all. I find the millisecond of opportunity I need to speak quickly and believe me, I take it.
It does no good, I can hear the guy's supervisor cock his weapon and if the guy gives up, he's as good as dead. Surely that must be the case because without missing a beat (meanwhile I've missed entire measures of beats) he launches into his pitch about how I'll have an entire month to evaluate the program and at the same time, take advantage of the benefits and if, at the end of that time, I decide that I don't want to participate - and by participate, he means pay money for, I can cancel - matter of fact I can cancel at any time.
Of course I can cancel at any time - I can even get my "introductory fee of only $1 for the first month" credited back to my account. Of course I'll have to call the customer service line in order to cancel - or I can write - which I'm beginning to think would yield faster results given just how much I'm being forced to listen to. Sure I can hang up, but doing so would likely give this guy a window of reasonable doubt - you know, with his supervisor standing there with a gun at the guy's head:
Supervisor: What are you waiting for? Sign him UP for it!
Customer Service Rep: But he didn't say he wanted it...before he hung up
Supervisor: Am I going to have to shoot you for losing this sale over formal semantics? You say "hung up", I say the call simply disconnected. Either way, what he didn't actually say, was no - do you see where I'm going with this - and may I remind you of the loaded-gun-pointed-at-your-head-incentive-program we have here?
That's just got to be how it works in that call center - I opted out of the program, listened to way too much double talk in my waiting for the opportunity to speak, and in the end I will still have to call back to ascertain that what I intended to do has actually taken place. Peace out.
I'll explain. First I call card company A, and I have to play mental hopscotch tossing out part of my card number, the last 4 digits of duh and the Latin name for my pet. Then I have to listen to a vague offering of options - not choosing just yet because the actual option for what I'm trying to accomplish may be next - it turns out that it's not, and now I need to listen again and hope I choose something that gets me close. This is a crap shoot. No matter, now I'm through the automated preliminary baloney (I hate baloney) and I'm actually speaking with a real person.
Every time I get to this point, I feel relieved at first. I said at first, and that doesn't last but a second or two. A second or two when you're on your business end of a customer service call can be agonizingly long - either when you have to listen, or talk. I say this because I've already given the last 4 digits of 2 sets of numbers that identify me. For security purposes, I've done it via keys on my phone - couple of times, and I've spoken them - couple of times. Now I'm getting somewhere, right?
Not so fast. Now what I'm actually getting, is annoyed that the person I'm speaking to is determined to sign me up for some service that will add additional charges to my account. I want to ask if I can talk to this customer service rep via SKYPE - because I want to see his supervisor standing beside him holding a loaded gun to his head to make sure he informs me about this program that will only benefit me and will do so "for what amounts to only 35 cents a day" - what I want to say, is that I'm not sure where he's talking from, but here in America, what amounts to 35 cents a day is a dime and a quarter...but I hold my tongue. I probably do that because I can't get a flippin' word in edgewise anyway and for the love of God, I should be able to - because I'm the guy who called in the first place!
I lose count of how many times the rep repeats all the benefits I would reap on a daily basis if I would only choose to sign up for the introductory offer, and if I like the program (he does everything but say I'd be retarded if I didn't like the program) then I can access the benefits any time I choose - and just to make sure I will like the program, they will send me the information in writing. That makes it better, says he, because then I have the option of reviewing the information in the comfort of my home. Indeed I do have that option - and the option of climbing up a tree to review it, maybe taking it to a Starbucks and reviewing it...but what I'm currently going through, is so annoying that I can't really see much benefit to me at all. I find the millisecond of opportunity I need to speak quickly and believe me, I take it.
It does no good, I can hear the guy's supervisor cock his weapon and if the guy gives up, he's as good as dead. Surely that must be the case because without missing a beat (meanwhile I've missed entire measures of beats) he launches into his pitch about how I'll have an entire month to evaluate the program and at the same time, take advantage of the benefits and if, at the end of that time, I decide that I don't want to participate - and by participate, he means pay money for, I can cancel - matter of fact I can cancel at any time.
Of course I can cancel at any time - I can even get my "introductory fee of only $1 for the first month" credited back to my account. Of course I'll have to call the customer service line in order to cancel - or I can write - which I'm beginning to think would yield faster results given just how much I'm being forced to listen to. Sure I can hang up, but doing so would likely give this guy a window of reasonable doubt - you know, with his supervisor standing there with a gun at the guy's head:
Supervisor: What are you waiting for? Sign him UP for it!
Customer Service Rep: But he didn't say he wanted it...before he hung up
Supervisor: Am I going to have to shoot you for losing this sale over formal semantics? You say "hung up", I say the call simply disconnected. Either way, what he didn't actually say, was no - do you see where I'm going with this - and may I remind you of the loaded-gun-pointed-at-your-head-incentive-program we have here?
That's just got to be how it works in that call center - I opted out of the program, listened to way too much double talk in my waiting for the opportunity to speak, and in the end I will still have to call back to ascertain that what I intended to do has actually taken place. Peace out.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Lifting of Thoughts
I've mentioned that I'm struggling with a small matter of the heart and while I don't particularly like that, I do know that I'm not dealing with anything that is all that tough. I have friends who are dealing with far worse than my minor disappointment that I'm feeling over the events of the last 3 or 4 months. I'm being vague because I'm simply tired of this person taking up space in my mind and my heart. If things are really as they appear now, then I wasn't truly cared for to begin with and it appears that the person on the other end has only the capacity to care in terms of how it will benefit them. For those of you reading this who actually know me, you know that is not my style - never has been.
So I move on, I wish I could say that I didn't think about her quite often - but I can deal with that. I've lived up to what I said I would do in this - I was there every time she asked me to be there as a friend, and as anything more than that, though I had my limits there. I also said that I would accept her not wanting me around in any capacity and that I would comply - I have done that as well. I have sent a few texts - it's not as if I've stopped thinking about her. For the record, I said that I wouldn't like it, and true to my word, I don't.
Now we get to the meat of why I'm not dealing with anything that's even remotely tough. I have a friend who recently got divorced - and under some very shocking and hurtful events. Six years with someone and a wedding that was probably the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen, and a little more than a year later, it's all over. I doubt that any of us saw this one coming. I feel completely foolish when I think I'm sad or disappointed after meeting someone and any of the hopes I saw vanishing after a few weeks. Am I sad? A bit, but I'm not angry and I stand behind my feelings - and none of this seems important when I think of the friends that I stood up there with on that beautiful day a little over a year ago.
Then I think of some people I know who either have dealt with, or currently are dealing with terrible things that I can't even fathom. I have dear friends who lost their older brother a few years after a terrible accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Am I sad? Please - I should stop and think about how my friend's brother would gladly have taken even a walk to take the trash out and relish every single step beneath his feet. Who doesn't take a walk like that for granted? Yet every single step is a gift, not a right. I would miss every single step to my mailbox, every move bending down to clean up after my dog - and let's face it, that's not exactly a pleasant job folks. Sad? Give me a break.
My next thoughts are of those I know who are dealing with cancer. I know someone who is fighting this fight for the second time. I know that all of her facebook posts show an incredible sense of courage, humor and optimism - and when she wrote me and told me that she wants to see her 9 year old son grow up, it stopped me cold. Am I sad? Please - I may be dealing with a situation that is actually for the best, who knows - it could even turn around, but my point is that there are people in this world who are facing things that aren't fair, pleasant and that are far more painful and downright frightening than whatever petty heartache and longing I may feel over this thing I'm struggling with.
I have another friend who lost her husband to cancer - from the time he was diagnosed, to the time he passed away was, if I'm not mistaken, seven months. She told me it was awful and it left her angry with God. How could something so horrible not leave any one of us like that? And I'm sad? Disappointed? Hurt? Please! My point here is not to lift my own thoughts up at the expense of anyone else - my point here is to lift my thoughts to all that surrounds me that I should be thankful for. Let heartache, even one as petty as this one of mine, do what it may - I'm alive, and I can feel that. I needn't question God's timing or meaning here. Maybe this was all orchestrated to show me that I can still feel for someone - because I haven't for quite some time until this recent thing. Maybe I'm supposed to be much more careful with exactly who I give my heart to if I'm going to give it away. Maybe I'm supposed to be patient in ways that I've yet to learn. So let this bug me, hell let it hurt a bit if need be - I'm alive and ever day is a gift. Do I not have a responsibility to take notice of all the wonderful people and things that surround me? Of course I do.
I have a very close friend who, during any of the times I've talked about this matter to, has said things like, "Dude, this isn't even close! - and it's not you!" - he also has this wonderful line that I absolutely love: Face the sun and smile every day! He's right. So my responsibility is to do just that and realize that each and every day, every breath, every step is indeed a gift. Here's the thing about gifts: one should always, always be grateful for gifts - always.
So I move on, I wish I could say that I didn't think about her quite often - but I can deal with that. I've lived up to what I said I would do in this - I was there every time she asked me to be there as a friend, and as anything more than that, though I had my limits there. I also said that I would accept her not wanting me around in any capacity and that I would comply - I have done that as well. I have sent a few texts - it's not as if I've stopped thinking about her. For the record, I said that I wouldn't like it, and true to my word, I don't.
Now we get to the meat of why I'm not dealing with anything that's even remotely tough. I have a friend who recently got divorced - and under some very shocking and hurtful events. Six years with someone and a wedding that was probably the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen, and a little more than a year later, it's all over. I doubt that any of us saw this one coming. I feel completely foolish when I think I'm sad or disappointed after meeting someone and any of the hopes I saw vanishing after a few weeks. Am I sad? A bit, but I'm not angry and I stand behind my feelings - and none of this seems important when I think of the friends that I stood up there with on that beautiful day a little over a year ago.
Then I think of some people I know who either have dealt with, or currently are dealing with terrible things that I can't even fathom. I have dear friends who lost their older brother a few years after a terrible accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Am I sad? Please - I should stop and think about how my friend's brother would gladly have taken even a walk to take the trash out and relish every single step beneath his feet. Who doesn't take a walk like that for granted? Yet every single step is a gift, not a right. I would miss every single step to my mailbox, every move bending down to clean up after my dog - and let's face it, that's not exactly a pleasant job folks. Sad? Give me a break.
My next thoughts are of those I know who are dealing with cancer. I know someone who is fighting this fight for the second time. I know that all of her facebook posts show an incredible sense of courage, humor and optimism - and when she wrote me and told me that she wants to see her 9 year old son grow up, it stopped me cold. Am I sad? Please - I may be dealing with a situation that is actually for the best, who knows - it could even turn around, but my point is that there are people in this world who are facing things that aren't fair, pleasant and that are far more painful and downright frightening than whatever petty heartache and longing I may feel over this thing I'm struggling with.
I have another friend who lost her husband to cancer - from the time he was diagnosed, to the time he passed away was, if I'm not mistaken, seven months. She told me it was awful and it left her angry with God. How could something so horrible not leave any one of us like that? And I'm sad? Disappointed? Hurt? Please! My point here is not to lift my own thoughts up at the expense of anyone else - my point here is to lift my thoughts to all that surrounds me that I should be thankful for. Let heartache, even one as petty as this one of mine, do what it may - I'm alive, and I can feel that. I needn't question God's timing or meaning here. Maybe this was all orchestrated to show me that I can still feel for someone - because I haven't for quite some time until this recent thing. Maybe I'm supposed to be much more careful with exactly who I give my heart to if I'm going to give it away. Maybe I'm supposed to be patient in ways that I've yet to learn. So let this bug me, hell let it hurt a bit if need be - I'm alive and ever day is a gift. Do I not have a responsibility to take notice of all the wonderful people and things that surround me? Of course I do.
I have a very close friend who, during any of the times I've talked about this matter to, has said things like, "Dude, this isn't even close! - and it's not you!" - he also has this wonderful line that I absolutely love: Face the sun and smile every day! He's right. So my responsibility is to do just that and realize that each and every day, every breath, every step is indeed a gift. Here's the thing about gifts: one should always, always be grateful for gifts - always.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Firearm safety
I don't really like guns much - I suppose I did when I was younger, much younger actually. The number of guns I've actually shot amounts to nothing the least bit impressive: a couple of air rifles, an air pistol and a .22 caliber rifle. I've never fired a shotgun or any higher powered gun than those I've already mentioned. As a boy I thought I'd like to hunt one day, but not having a father or uncles who were hunters, I guess I grew out of it.
I just don't really like guns much. Don't get me wrong, God forbid I ever be in a situation where I actually need a gun, I guess I'd wish I had one. I just don't like what guns do, and that's based on what I know them to do - which is kill and hurt. Maybe that's the opposite side of the coin from defend and feed.Maybe I need a gun now - but I tend to see that as more like "I might need a gun some day, sure, I could find myself faced with defending my life - though I'd like to think I won't have to." I guess that's pretty idealistic given how often I see news stories of guns being in the wrong hands.
Now that we have my view of guns out of the way, a good friend of mine does like guns - actually I have several friends who like, and have guns. One particular friend often shows me his handguns when I talk to him on skype. I'm okay with that and sometimes I joke that I'll laugh my ass off if he fires a bullet into his laptop and disappears from view mid-chat. Think about it - that would be kind of funny given all the times this friend has told me he's very safe with guns and practices great care. I can just see it playing out:
Me: Man be careful - what if that's loaded?
Friend: relax, you're all the way across the country in Ohio and besides, it's most definitely not load...
POW!!
Then my friend disappears from my skype window and I'm looking at a black space where he was just a split second ago, pre-POW! No audio, no video - no old friend that I'm chatting with. Not five minutes later, my phone rings:
Me (noticing it's my friend that I was chatting via Skype with): What's up?
Friend: Son of a bitch! Fucking gun was loaded...there goes my mac book pro!
Me: I'm laughing a bit too hard to say anything...which would most likely be...oh I dunno, something to the effect of 'told ya so'
Friend: Stop laughing Goddammit, it's not funny!
Me: it's a little funny
Friend: no, it's not funny - not even a little bit funny, so stop your laughing!
Me: careful - you don't wanna go shooting your phone bro!
Friend: shut the fuck UP
Me: or? more laughing, which is basically because when you think something is funny and someone else doesn't, that can often make something even more funny - not always mind you, but sometimes. This is one of those times.
And so it is that this imaginary scenario came close to actually playing out last night as I was talking with my friend on my way to work. He had me on speaker phone, so it was a bit unclear what he was saying. I'm not quite sure why it sounded like he was having a sneezing fit - but what had actually happened, was that he fired a shot into one of his ceiling beams. I'm only laughing because no one was hurt and yes, he still has his mac book pro.
I just don't really like guns much. Don't get me wrong, God forbid I ever be in a situation where I actually need a gun, I guess I'd wish I had one. I just don't like what guns do, and that's based on what I know them to do - which is kill and hurt. Maybe that's the opposite side of the coin from defend and feed.Maybe I need a gun now - but I tend to see that as more like "I might need a gun some day, sure, I could find myself faced with defending my life - though I'd like to think I won't have to." I guess that's pretty idealistic given how often I see news stories of guns being in the wrong hands.
Now that we have my view of guns out of the way, a good friend of mine does like guns - actually I have several friends who like, and have guns. One particular friend often shows me his handguns when I talk to him on skype. I'm okay with that and sometimes I joke that I'll laugh my ass off if he fires a bullet into his laptop and disappears from view mid-chat. Think about it - that would be kind of funny given all the times this friend has told me he's very safe with guns and practices great care. I can just see it playing out:
Me: Man be careful - what if that's loaded?
Friend: relax, you're all the way across the country in Ohio and besides, it's most definitely not load...
POW!!
Then my friend disappears from my skype window and I'm looking at a black space where he was just a split second ago, pre-POW! No audio, no video - no old friend that I'm chatting with. Not five minutes later, my phone rings:
Me (noticing it's my friend that I was chatting via Skype with): What's up?
Friend: Son of a bitch! Fucking gun was loaded...there goes my mac book pro!
Me: I'm laughing a bit too hard to say anything...which would most likely be...oh I dunno, something to the effect of 'told ya so'
Friend: Stop laughing Goddammit, it's not funny!
Me: it's a little funny
Friend: no, it's not funny - not even a little bit funny, so stop your laughing!
Me: careful - you don't wanna go shooting your phone bro!
Friend: shut the fuck UP
Me: or? more laughing, which is basically because when you think something is funny and someone else doesn't, that can often make something even more funny - not always mind you, but sometimes. This is one of those times.
And so it is that this imaginary scenario came close to actually playing out last night as I was talking with my friend on my way to work. He had me on speaker phone, so it was a bit unclear what he was saying. I'm not quite sure why it sounded like he was having a sneezing fit - but what had actually happened, was that he fired a shot into one of his ceiling beams. I'm only laughing because no one was hurt and yes, he still has his mac book pro.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
New Year, New Post
Happy New Year, we're now officially done with the holidays. Truth be told - not that I was going to lie about it mind you, I'm not much of a New Year's person. Most of my adult life I've worked on New Year's Eve and by the time Christmas is over with, enough things have marked another year's passing. In my line of work I hear loads of people talking about their New Years resolutions. I can't think of a time when I've ever made them myself - at least not when everyone else does. I suppose that's just as well when I think about how most resolutions start out with the best intentions and then end up being tossed aside.
In a way, New Years resolutions remind me a little bit of smoker logic - saying things like, "now is not the time for me to quit"..."I'll quit when the holidays are over with"..."let's quit together" - anything that basically tells anyone who is listening that something so obviously in one's best interest can be put off like taking out the trash on a rainy night. What's the harm in waiting.
It's also a bit like Valentine's Day logic - do something nice, romantic and thoughtful on this day, you must do it on this day because everyone else is doing it and whatever it is you're going to do is going to be more expensive. Christmas? Same thing really - find the perfect gift, the not-so perfect gift - now is the season, time is running out. Isn't the message behind Christmas Peace on Earth, goodwill to men?
Shouldn't we keep that in mind all year long? How could a message like that mean anything less at any other time of the year?
Shouldn't I make decisions about things that would be better for me on any day of the year that I come to such a realization? And do I have to pick the day where being romantic is mandatory to do that? What about all these days in between the actual days that we're either expected or supposed to do things?
I guess what I'm saying, and in my usual rambling & long-winded way, is that things that are good for us in meaningful ways should exist and be appreciated every day. Shouldn't we treat others the way we want to be treated ourselves every day as opposed to just focusing on that during any given season? Don't get me wrong, Christmas is a wonderful time of the year, but the message of goodwill, giving, compassion and quality family time is something that should never go out of season.
Likewise, my resolve to do more things that are good for me should happen any time I give thought to just how that might be - and these days there is a lot of that going on. I'm about to undergo monumental changes in the coming weeks and I know that some will be less obvious than others. Some of this change has come about from things I don't like and I have to accept it for what it is. Am I being vague here? Sure, but to offer up more explanation when I'm simply tired of even thinking about something isn't going to change things and make something different than the way I should look at it now. So I shift my focus to what is ahead and dial the attention in on what is favorable about the direction I'm about to head in.
In a way, New Years resolutions remind me a little bit of smoker logic - saying things like, "now is not the time for me to quit"..."I'll quit when the holidays are over with"..."let's quit together" - anything that basically tells anyone who is listening that something so obviously in one's best interest can be put off like taking out the trash on a rainy night. What's the harm in waiting.
It's also a bit like Valentine's Day logic - do something nice, romantic and thoughtful on this day, you must do it on this day because everyone else is doing it and whatever it is you're going to do is going to be more expensive. Christmas? Same thing really - find the perfect gift, the not-so perfect gift - now is the season, time is running out. Isn't the message behind Christmas Peace on Earth, goodwill to men?
Shouldn't we keep that in mind all year long? How could a message like that mean anything less at any other time of the year?
Shouldn't I make decisions about things that would be better for me on any day of the year that I come to such a realization? And do I have to pick the day where being romantic is mandatory to do that? What about all these days in between the actual days that we're either expected or supposed to do things?
I guess what I'm saying, and in my usual rambling & long-winded way, is that things that are good for us in meaningful ways should exist and be appreciated every day. Shouldn't we treat others the way we want to be treated ourselves every day as opposed to just focusing on that during any given season? Don't get me wrong, Christmas is a wonderful time of the year, but the message of goodwill, giving, compassion and quality family time is something that should never go out of season.
Likewise, my resolve to do more things that are good for me should happen any time I give thought to just how that might be - and these days there is a lot of that going on. I'm about to undergo monumental changes in the coming weeks and I know that some will be less obvious than others. Some of this change has come about from things I don't like and I have to accept it for what it is. Am I being vague here? Sure, but to offer up more explanation when I'm simply tired of even thinking about something isn't going to change things and make something different than the way I should look at it now. So I shift my focus to what is ahead and dial the attention in on what is favorable about the direction I'm about to head in.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)