I recently got a new cell phone - somewhat reluctantly. It's not that I didn't like my old phone, a Motorola Razor, it's just that after two years, the battery wasn't holding a charge. The cell phone market is highly competitive and it seemed a bit silly to spend $45 on a new battery when I could get a new phone for nothing.
I called my cellular provider and inquired about my upgrade options. Seeing as how I wasn't under contract, I thought that if they wouldn't allow me an upgrade at least comparable to what they were offering new customers, I would look into another provider.
What I ended up with was good and bad. The good was that my cellular provider would allow me to upgrade to a new phone by paying $50 and then getting that money back in a rebate. The bad news is that it took some lengthy phone conversations with my provider's customer service department spread out over three weeks. I found myself repeating my basic information dozens of times, being on hold for 27 minutes on one call( which, by the way feels like an entire flippin' day) and being extremely aggravated at the whole process.
I'll hold the typical stereotyped jokes about how companies have universally shipped their customer service departments over to India - but rest assured, I could spit out loads of those kind of jokes after my last call to my provider prior to my new phone being in stock and shipped to me.
I spent 30 minutes on the phone that day and every passing minute had me wanting off the damn phone more than the previous minute. I repeated things like my name, the last four digits of my social security number, what my phone number is, what my new phone would be and all kinds of other things I wouldn't have thought I'd have to - all more times than I care to count.
Just when all of this seems like it's about to end, and best of all, I'll be off the damn phone after losing count of how many times I've thought "didn't I already tell you that, like, three times?" my customer service rep says the following:
CSR: Okay sir, I do appreciate you giving me the opportunity to assist you with this matter today, and on a scale of one to five, with five being the most positive, how would you rate my service to you today in assisting you with this matter?"
Me, thinking: What The Fuck??...are you kidding me? Actually, I think you have A.D.D. and that's not exactly an attribute in your line of work. It seems doubtful to me that anyone in your department notes a customer's account, and even more doubtful that you even thought to scroll down and read any of what I was told - I say this because you tried to get me to pay for what I was told I would be getting for free. Given that I've spent twice as much time on the phone as I really needed to (never mind wanting here) I would say that I'd rate your service a one, maybe a two. The thing is, you don't get to ask me that - direct me to a survey if you must, but don't put me on the spot - not when my answer is influenced by the fact that what I want most right now is to get off the damn phone!
Me, answering CSR: five.
Me, thinking: that ought to get me off the phone!
CSR: Oh why thank you very much sir! I do appreciate both your opinion of my service to you in this matter and the opportunity to assist you today with this matter, and I would like to thank you at this time for choosing blah,blah,blah for your cellular service and continuing to allow us to serve you...at this time I would like to ask you if there is anything else I can help you with today?
Me: no, I think that's it.
I'm pretty sure I could hear this woman blush over the phone. The only reason I gave her high marks was because I didn't want to have to explain my ass and therefore stay on the phone a little longer. I understand the need for customer feedback - I have worked in customer service and some of that work was actually for a cellular provider. My current job is one that feedback is directly proportional to my income - but I disagree with such a direct manner of getting said feedback. I'm just saying.
