So my last post was about how anything and everything gets tossed out in the hillbilly dumpster. I've often thought that this is amusing and that it would make for a great country song. When I lived in Houston, I would sometimes visit a Tractor Supply store - folks if Tractor Supply store doesn't have what you're looking for in your outdoor needs, well, dang it, you just might not need it. I swear to God, both of these things are true: a) you can buy baby chicks and ducklings at Tractor Supply b) I hear a country song called "Doublewide Paradise" playing on the radio when I was in a Tractor Supply store. Much as I'd like to forget both of those things...I just cain't...I mean, can't. Theys both true folks.
So back to that great country song - Hillbilly Dumpster. I can just hear this tune with its slow, twangy, country-ass lilt, and folks, if it's country it don't mean a thang if it ain't got that twang. (which, by the way, is my line - I came up with that one and it's a beauty.) In the middle the singer would slow down, talk a few verses...I dunno, something like this:
Well so long to, my bigass, projection screen tee-vee
Bought a new flat screen so this here one no use to the missus an' me
My baby an me could lift it, but when it fell on my toe I screamed ouch
Got no time to stand here cryin' - baby help me with this ol' couch
I thought that all this stuff was much too big, to simply throw away
Sure as hell wouldn't wanna be the garbage man on this trash pickup day
Furniture an' appliances, it don't matter anyway
Just walk it out to the dumpster, gonna throw this stuff away
Talky part:
Now folks it's been said, so many times one man's trash is another man's treasure
An' we've got no room to keep this stuff, that brings us no more pleasure
Somebody stop me. Could I go on? Hell, probably - but I won't. Got things to do.
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