Cousins & Horses

When I was a kid I wanted a horse, I wanted a horse of my own of course... I remember being ten and deciding that I would get a paper route to pay for my own horse. The next summer I stayed with my paternal grandparents for most of the summer until my family moved back to Ohio from California. They had a horse, but sold her shortly before I came to stay with them. I tried talking my grandfather into getting another horse - to no avail. Fortunately the people who lived across the street from them had ponies and I got to ride them quite a bit that summer. After that summer I never gave having a horse of my own any thought - I'm not sure why really, I just didn't. I think the last time I rode a horse when when I was 19. Never mind how long ago that was.

My younger cousin Lori got a horse when she was almost 12. I never saw her horse until three years later when Lori was 15 and I went with my uncle Don out to the barn where Lori boarded her horse, Beauty. I guess now that I think of it, three years is a long enough time to get acquainted with a horse and all the work that goes along with having one - which I always thought I understood perfectly when I was ten and wanted my own horse. I stood there as a grown man, amazed and watching my younger cousin so confident around this animal. Beauty is a beautiful black horse and I was in awe of both this beautiful animal that was so gentle and how Lori handled her. She wasn't the least bit nervous about being around an animal of this size - I was, and mind you this horse seemed smaller than I remembered horses looking back when I wanted one. Then again, I was smaller at ten - so naturally everything looked bigger.

I couldn't believe the bond between this horse and my cousin - I could just tell they were very close. Lori showed me how Beauty would follow her around to get treats from her if she knew Lori was holding them in her hands. It was one of the sweetest displays of bonding between a person and an animal I've ever seen. I remember thinking back to when I wanted a horse and wondering if I would have been as good with one as I saw Lori being with Beauty that day.

Fast forward to 2011. Lori still has Beauty. She also has a husband and three beautiful children that she and her husband are wonderful parents to. Beauty is facing the end of the trail now, the equivalent of around 90 years old in human years, and my heart goes out to my cousin who has had this animal....well, I'll use Lori's words: since before I got braces, hit puberty, started middle school, got my driver's license, kissed my first boy, graduated high school, started college, bought a house and started a family - I'm struggling right now. It's never an easy thing to realize that at some point, there will come a time when you have to say goodbye for the last time, especially when the space between hello and goodbye is filled with so many wonderful times.

I know Lori's struggling with facing something that no one capable of love wants to see. The time to say goodbye. There's really no preparing for it - even when you know an animal is getting older and  their life span is shorter than ours is. There is nothing that can make it any less painful but the miracle of time - and such moments may be the best examples of when time just doesn't seem to move fast enough. In time these slow moving moments make our best memories into things we cherish. We're just never ready for that moment, even though it's for the best. As I've learned of Lori having to contemplate this, I think back to that day I was with Lori at the place she boarded Beauty. She told me recently that her parents paid for the horse for her, but the upkeep was her responsibility. How many years later and Lori still is taking care of Beauty. I have just one wonderful memory of the one time I saw my cousin as a young girl, so happy and confident around her horse. While I'm sad to see Lori facing something I know is so painful, my heart is warmed by knowing that she has many great memories of her time spent with Beauty. Lori told me that her parents buying her the horse wasn't really them giving her a present or spoiling her - it was teaching her a lesson about love, commitment and responsibility. I'm sure she learned a lot of things from having Beauty that she wouldn't have thought about going into the horse ownership experience. Indeed - you learned that lesson about love, commitment and responsibility much better than many people would have Lori.  Not only are you a wonderful owner/friend to Beauty, but you're a great mother to three beautiful children.

I know this is hard for you to go through Lori. I wish there was something I could say other than how much the memory of that day I got to see you with Beauty makes me smile, because it's one of my favorite memories and I hope I never forget it. I know you'll never forget the many wonderful memories you have with Beauty, and I hope there's still a few more yet to come. I love you guys and I miss you all!