Assuming

I had an odd experience the other night at a bar that's walking distance from where I work. I don't frequent this place, but every now and then I'll go for a quick beer with friends from work. This particular place is a bit of a different restaurant that is open for breakfast and lunch and turns into more of a club in the evenings. It's not especially the type of bar I like to go to, but it's close to work and sometimes it's nice to unwind after some of the stress of work.

So we belly up to this bar, which actually has barstools that sit a bit lower than I'm comfortable with. I order an import beer and the guy behind the bar seems friendly enough. We're sitting there all of ten minutes when he shows us a trick I've seen and used myself many times - dropping a wine cork on the bar and getting it to bounce so it stands upright. Sometimes it's the simplest things that will amuse someone at the bar. The guy hands me the cork and encourages me to try it. I've done this trick loads of times when I'm working behind the bar and I think the key to success here is to drop the cork from about 3" high. I drop the cork twice and it stands upright both times. The bartender seems a bit too excited when I land my cork, but whatever. He seems like a nice enough guy, but he's got a little of a used car salesman with a dash of midway weight guesser vibe about him.

That's fine, at least we know he's not ignoring us. I'm pretty much over the cork trick, but I ask him if he's seen another trick using two wine corks where you switch hands and make it look like you're not letting go of either cork. The things we do to amuse people behind the bar...

At this point the bartender evidently thought we needed something a bit more interesting and decides he's got the perfect solution:

Proud, beaming bar guy: So do you guys wanna see a racy picture?

My friend looks at me, we look at the bar guy and shrug our shoulders as if to say, "fine...if you wanna show us a racy picture, sure."

It's not as if we walked into the place wondering if the bartender had any pictures to show us, but he seems pretty proud of the picture he shows us of him standing on a beach with his arm around a topless blonde woman. Okay, you've shown us a racy picture. We start to resume our conversation, but our bartender has other plans:

Proud, beaming bar guy: You guys OK with that? Alright...wanna see something more racy?

Me: (thinking) Not really - we kinda want to resume our conversation, but it seems you have other plans and they involve more pictures?

The guy really seemed proud of what he was about to show us and it didn't seem to matter if we wanted to see it or not. He turns around and pulls an 8 by 10 framed picture of him having sex with a woman - I guess it's the same woman from the first picture he showed us. Wow - vacation photos.

It's interesting that the guy's manager is standing a few feet away from him behind the bar and when he notices his bartender about to show us this picture, he smiles and laughs a bit. Clearly this is ground that has been covered more than a few times. In all my years behind the bar or even on the other side of it, I can't say I've seen anything like this - nor that I was looking to. I'm a little surprised at the guy's one-two punch of engaging us in this, not quite sure what to make of it...but we didn't have much time to think or discuss before the guy adds to it:

Proud, beaming bar guy:  How 'bout that huh? Now I bet you wanna know who took the picture, don'tcha?

Me, thinking: well...not really. I kind of wanna know why you thought this was an appropriate way to engage your customers. I kind of wanna know why you carry around these pictures, one of which is in a frame and had other momentous touches in the photo, though for the life of me I can't recall anything else in the photo but you having sex with the woman - and I didn't even look but a split second. I run through a little imagery in my head about what the consequences would be if I had photos like this (I don't) and decided to use them as conversation pieces behind any bar that I've worked behind. (I wouldn't) - I just can't see it ending well.

I don't really get much time to think before the guy looks at us with a grin and delivers his line with pride:

Proud, beaming bar guy:  HER HUSBAND....!!!...and then he puts his hand up to smack me a high five.



I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I don't really get the high five factor here folks. I wouldn't want to be any part of an equation like this. To each his own I guess, but imagining myself as any part of something like this just doesn't sit well with me. Clearly it sits pretty well with this guy and his manager. Call me crazy, but that was one of the oddest moments I've had behind a bar.