Sometimes you decide what you want to do, you pick - but other times, perhaps even most times, it picks you. You can fight it, but sooner or later you come to find that resistance is futile. It's not the worst thing in the world - unless you make it that way. You get good at something while you're on the way to something else. Maybe it's a port in a storm, maybe the storm doesn't end - maybe it's not supposed to...and more maybe still, and this one is kind of a big deal...maybe you're not in a storm at all, maybe you're right where you're supposed to be.
Maybe you're supposed to look around and notice all that's good about where you're standing. If you're lucky and have enough self awareness, maybe you'll come to your senses before you miss any more of the good stuff, the stuff you didn't really pay much attention to while you were on your way to something better - or at least something that you thought was better.
As I come upon another birthday, I suppose a bit of wisdom comes with the number of birthdays I've been able to have. I never assumed that would be the case - the wisdom thing anyway. I'm not of the opinion that anyone should refer to themselves as wise. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bumbling idiot - but I've had more than a few moments that I'm not exactly proud of. That makes me about the same as everyone else on the planet.
Let's just say that I'm in a spot that I may not have ever thought I'd be in once my odometer hit the numbers it has. As I look around, things aren't so bad. They could be, if I were to choose to look at them through the wrong lenses - but I can't allow myself that luxury, to put a negative spin on anything. It wouldn't help, and this year has been too difficult for my family - and for some of my friends. So for me to be in the position I am and be able to even complain mildly about anything at all, just seems wrong. I know people who can complain and at a much higher level than I could on my worst of days - and this, this is not one of my worst days.
I could say that I'm not where I thought I'd be, certainly not where I thought I wanted to be - but the thing is, when I look around me, I see good/wonderful things. I'm rich in friends and my family is wonderful. I work for an employer that expects out of me, the same things he expects out of himself - and I like that. I like the fact that I can make others laugh while I'm at work, and that I can laugh while I'm at work - more on my worst days there, than on my best days doing something I thought I would enjoy so much more. Turns out I didn't. I'm not one to toot my own horn unless I know the tune - so while I can say that I'm good at what I do, I wouldn't say that I'm good at it simply because of the number of years of experience I've had at it. I'm good at it because I keep wanting to be good at it, and there are numerous reasons for that - my employer, my coworkers, our customers, what we collectively do on a daily basis, and lastly the resurgence of creativity in the craft, that has breathed new life into a job that I've often fought hard to get out of, left, came back to and you know what? Every time I've come back to it, I've been welcomed back. You get welcomed back enough times, you start to realize that you're home. Maybe it's not forever, but maybe you're right where you should be and rather than worry about when you should leave, maybe it's best you take a look around and take in what's all around you, because maybe you've been picked - and maybe there's a very good reason for that. Here's to another year - and well wishes all around. Birthdays aren't so bad as a grown up. I'll wake up tomorrow, on my birthday, and tell myself that age is just a number and that blank is the new forty, and forty is the new thirty and thirty is the new twenty - and then I'll start dialing in the smartass and sarcasm that I tend to sprinkle abundantly on every day, and birthday or not, it's business as usual. Despite my Irish blood, my birthday and how I put food on my table, no shots will be fired. Peace, good people - and may the year ahead be a good one for us all. Boom.
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