To use a phrase from a Todd Rundgren tune, I hate my ISP. Evil empire m'r fk'rs. The main issue? They constantly offer up much better deals to new customers, yet existing customers aren't eligible. Can't get a better deal - not once you're locked into getting screwed. The deals that my ISP offer up to new customers are the candy the pedophile uses to get the kid into the van. Candy isn't good for very long. Once you're stuck in the van...well, y'know that's not such a good place to be.
What's equally bad, are the underhanded sales techniques that the competition uses. All kinds of disclaimers that lead to additional, one time fees - and all of this crap is strategically placed in the sales process. You're lured to a point by something so appealing that the likelihood of you turning back is minimal. Oh no, I've come too far to turn back now, so what's a few more conditions, expenses and/or terms? I mean if it's just a one time fee...
Pardon the drop here, but fuck that.
Imagine these kinds of tricks in a job interview - to make a long story short, I'll speed up the process by saying let's take it from you shaking hands and getting hired. All the preliminary screening, background checks, interviews etc, are done and you're being welcomed on board - you pick the place, the sneaky shit starts here:
Your new boss: Everything looks great then, I look forward to seeing you on Monday. Welcome aboard...(shakes your hand, and as he does, you speak up...)
You: Thank you so much, ok, about Monday... I'm going to need you to give me a list of say, half a dozen or so of my new coworkers who live within a ten to fifteen mile radius of me. I am going to need a ride to and from work...
Y.N.B. : Um...I...well, I guess I assumed you had transportation.
You: No big deal boss, small matter. This is easily solved - just put me in touch with a few of the people who live close to me, & we're good to go - I mean if there are more people in the office - that's great...
Y.N.B. : I wasn't aware that transportation to and from work would be an issue here...
You: and why would you be? I mean we've gone over your needs, my qualifications, salary expectations, and everything has lined up perfectly - a win/win here. I'm thrilled to be a part of the team, you've chosen to hire me - and I think we both know that's a great decision on your part, so kudos to you for that - I mean why would I waste either your time or mine talking about my getting to work here without even knowing a) that I'd want to work here or b) that you want me to work here - no sense in putting the cart before the horse here boss.
Y.N.B. : Look, how you get to and from work is your responsibility. If you don't have a car, you can ride the bus..
You: Um, yeah...here's the thing about taking the bus: I can't burden myself with riding with strangers and possibly not getting a seat for most of the way in - or home, public transportation just won't work for me - I mean, for God's sake, what bus driver is going to have enough sense of priorities for me to get here comfortably and on time? No, I'm afraid the bus is not an opti....
Y.N.B. : Look, it's just not my responsibility to get you here...
You: I agree with you - this is just a one-time thing I'm asking you to do, to put me in touch with a few of my new coworkers who might live close enough to me that I could come in with them...I mean, let's be honest - I'm the new guy, you can't expect me to know who my neighbors are yet, I mean it's not even my first day on the job!
Y.N.B. : I'm sorry, I didn't realize transportation was a problem for you. I don't think this is going to work out for either of us.
You: I assure you, transportation is not a problem at all - I have no problem riding into work with any one of my new coworkers and I look forward to meeting them. Of course this is going to work out - you've offered me a job and I've accepted the position. If that wasn't the case, we wouldn't even be talking - so clearly this is going to work out...look, I'm gonna be honest with you: I'm not a time waster - I don't like to mess around at work, time is money and company time is company money. Why don't we get down to business and let's get on to the introductions of those coworkers who live relatively close to me so that we can get the ball rolling?
Out the door folks - that's where you'd be in a scenario like this, and that's also what you'd wanna know if you're entering into a new ISP agreement - what are your costs out the door? Boom. Done. I'm in. Yup, I hate my ISP - and I might not feel that way if I didn't see them treating others better than they are willing to treat me. On a good note, this whole thing is but a tiny spec of a problem to solve at its worst, and there appear to be some options. Onward, let's cut the bullshit.
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