Tradition gets in the way...

As an artistic/creative soul, I have a "day gig" tending bar in a Thai restaurant. I have a pretty fair amount of bar & restaurant experience - not to mention talent (though I just did mention it), but never in all my years of experience have I seen so many things that happen on a daily basis that simply defy normal restaurant logic. In a little over three years at this place, I've lost count of how many times I've scratched my head over how things are done around this place. All of the restaurant people I know - and I know a lot of 'em, who haven't worked in a Thai place, barely believe me when I tell them about how things go on around this place. And then the laughter starts.

The place is successful in spite of itself really - and while it's making the owners very wealthy, if they had any idea of how much more money they could be making, I'd bet they would change things in terms of how they do things around there. Alas, that will never happen.

Last year was the first time I've ever experienced a tradition for Chinese New Year known as the Lion Dance. I'd like to say that I enjoyed the cultural experience of it - and I would say that if not for the fact that the Lion Dance seriously got in the way of my doing my job and customers who were more concerned with getting their food and drinks in a timely manner.

Let me explain this a bit because I really don't want to sound like I'm bashing anyone's culture and appreciation for tradition. I find Chinese art somewhat busy - by that I mean the Lion in said dance looks more like a big gold monster to me, it looks nothing like a lion. First off, the lion is actually made up of 4 or 5 people in the costume and taking up approximately ten feet from head to toe - though you can easily tell the lion has a head, toes are not so easily distinguished. I say approximately ten feet for the length of this traditional beast, because I lost count of how many times said beast was in my way and therefore made it necessary for me to take the longer way around to things like the kitchen, or my bar or bar tables.

Again, I most likely would have appreciated the cultural experience but for the fact that it made doing my job very difficult. Half of the customers were more annoyed than I was - and that is what stopped me from enjoying this tradition - and I was a Lion Dance virgin up to that point. Half of my customers said things like, "Is the damn thing going to be over soon?"

My answer was that I had no idea. The other half of my customers really enjoyed this tradition - many pulled out their cell phones and took pictures. I seriously doubted that I would be able to continue working at this place - and I said as much, more than once - which most of my customers found highly amusing. Did I mention that 3 or 4 people follow the Lion as he makes his way around the restaurant and they bang on drums and Chinese cymbals? For those of you who aren't familiar with the sound of a Chinese cymbal, let me just say that they have their place - but one has to want it. To me, that place is not while I'm eating or conversing over dinner - ever. So aside from the fact that the Lion & his entourage are physically in my way on a very busy night at work, I also have to contend with the noise level, which hinders things like a customer telling me what they want to eat or drink and my asking requisite questions about the overall dinning process.

I'll repeat myself and say that I don't mean to bash anyone's cultural traditions, but this one could be much better planned so that it doesn't get in the way of how a restaurant operates. Perhaps the way we Americans do with dinner theater...

This year will mark my second Lion Dance, and if I thought the one from last year's timing was bad (I did) then this year should be even worse because it's going to be Saturday night (as in tomorrow) and it's going to take place at 6:30. Really? On a flippin' Saturday night when sheer anarchy rules supreme because of how these people do business and refuse to have a system of operation that allows for at least reasonable efficiency? Forgive me for saying so, but this reminds me of that SNL skit from years ago, Bad Idea Jeans. Can't say that I'm looking forward to it - but I am bringing my camera this year and I expect to walk away with some laughs. That is all.