I'm new to mourning the loss of a pet. My dog was 13 when she passed away. It wasn't until the last 2 years of her life that she really acted like the old dog she was. She slept a lot, had practically no interest in her toys - which I'd spent a small fortune on during 11 years of owing her, she grunted a lot at times when she moved around and her hearing was questionable, though it often seemed selective. A friend of mine gave me the book Marley and Me nearly two years ago. I started it, but put it aside in favor of other things and only finished it a few days ago. Everything in the book about Marley's actions as he became an old dog is pretty much exactly what I saw with my own dog. I found myself taking more time to appreciate all the wonderful things I saw in my dog.
Now that she's gone, I miss so many things. I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable as I watched my dog become a senior citizen, but there's really no way to prepare yourself for the end of such a wonderful friendship. For the most part my days now are not as painful as the ones that immediately followed the one awful day of owning a dog that I had - but there is an empty feeling to them that I often have no choice but to think of. This is the first time I've gone through this and it's the other side of 11 years of ideal pet ownership. I'm not the first person to feel this kind of pain, I won't be the last one. There is another side to this time as well and every passing day gets me further away from the pain and closer to the healing.
People who aren't dog lovers don't really get it. At the risk of sounding over the top, I can truthfully say that I miss my dog as much as I miss anyone who has passed from my life. The fact of the matter is that my dog was at the upper end of a lifespan for a big dog. There's nothing I can do about that. I can't exactly write my congressman or get enough signatures on a petition to change the lifespan of a dog, no matter how wonderful that dog was. It is what it is.
My sister said that my grief was normal and that she'd only start to worry if I hired a pet psychic to communicate with her. As much as I miss that dog, that's not going to happen - but if it did....
Pet Pyschic: hi, have a seat please.
Me: Thanks, have you got a box of tissues?
Pet Pyschic: yes, but that's an additional fee
Me: I'm okay with that
Pet Pyschic: Let's begin then. I'm just going to close my eyes and relax and I want you to do the same. Think of your dog...
Me: got it
PP: now I'd like to ask you a few questions - I'm seeing a dog, but there are many dogs in my vision and we need to find your dog
Me: yes, of course - please
PP: your dog is a female....is she a black dog?
Me: yes - why do you have to bring color into it?
PP: very good, a large female black dog...and what is her name?
Me: Maggie
PP: ah...there are some issues, Maggie was adopted by you later and had other names...
Me: uh, yeah...I got her from the Humane Society when she was around 2
PP: let me ask you something about Maggie....did she like to play fetch? I'm seeing a ball....was there a tennis ball?
Me: fetch? are you kidding? She took being a retriever very serious. Yes there was a tennis ball, there were lots of tennis balls, they were often covered with dog saliva - that acted like a glue to hold dirt and grass to them, thus making the game of fetch more disgusting with every toss. Hell yes there was a tennis ball, but there were sticks, frisbees, nerf footballs, soccer balls and tons of other things as well.
PP: I'm seeing her tail wagging - did she wag her tail?
Me: Wag her tail? Of course she wagged her tail - I often thought she would break it off from smacking it against tables, walls, appliances, it often sounded like it had to hurt!
PP: Here, (hands me a soggy tennis ball covered with dog saliva, grass, dirt, tiny pebbles, etc) I want you to relax, close your eyes and throw the ball for Maggie....she wants you to throw the ball....
Me: what? where did you get this...?.....throw....huh?
PP: Please...this is a really important step in communication with your dog and in your healing process, so please, embrace it fully, relax, embrace the feeling, embrace the ball...cock your arm and release the ball
Me: well, okay.....(throwing ball....immediately followed by a loud crashing sound, like the sound of several picture frames being displaced and falling in various directions and glass breaking, maybe a few unspecified nick-nacks falling)
PP: Oh my...SIR! My pictures!..I didn't mean to literally throw the damn ball!...I meant for you to imagine throwing it!...I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave sir....you can pay the receptionist on your way out....
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