I've never been much for New Year's - if I haven't worked them, I've found going out to be more on the disappointing side - I'd really rather stay home on what is perhaps the biggest night of the year to see more people drinking and driving. I also feel like by the time Christmas has come and gone, there have been enough other things to mark a year's passing. There have been this year, and this holiday season has been marked with a bit of sadness. In the grand scheme of things, our life journeys are filled with both joy and sadness, and we simply have to keep moving through both.
My hope this year on New Year's Eve, is that more people stay safe out on the roads tonight. Being a very moderate drinker myself, I'm not so worried about myself as I am the people who over indulge. I'll stay sober and hope that things conclude as early as possible from what I hope to be a good night at work. The new year starts at my parents' house with our traditional pork and sauerkraut dinner. The superstition is that you eat poor on the first day of the year, prosper throughout the year.
I gave up making New Year's resolutions many years ago - but I do like to assess things this time of the year. On my own journey I want to do the following things - and I hesitate to call them resolutions, because I think of these things throughout the year. That being said, here's what I want from this new year:
To continue eating healthier:
No processed foods
Less sugar
More vegetables
More juicing
Drink more water
Drink less alcohol
Less meat
continue to exercise
read more
be kinder to others
be kinder to myself
rid myself of toxic relationships
be the best version of me I can
ride more miles on my bicycle
take better pictures
improve my writing
get things published & get paid for them
break into the writing markets I feel I could do well in
help others whenever possible
be generous when I can be towards others
nurture the good relationships that I have in my life
downsize and purge this place of all the things I don't really need
work at my creative best
give something back and make a difference
...and lastly, to keep my attitude focused on being grateful for the wonderful people I have in my life as family and friends - and to notice more of the things that bring me joy and share as much of that as possible.
There you have it - these are ongoing things and not so much resolutions that only come around this time of the year. Every year at this time, I see a lot of people new at the gym - and I always wonder if they'll stick with it. It's always interesting to see all the new faces start dropping off. All I can say is that I hope that if you're joining a gym this time of the year, stick with it - because no matter how tough it is to get started taking better care of yourself, you're worth it.
Happy New Year everyone - please be safe if you're out and about tonight, and let's all make 2019 a better year for all of us. Peace, good people.
CRO
Sarcasm spoken here
Monday, December 31, 2018
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
...and now there's a cat living here.
You read that correctly, there is indeed a cat living here now. It's not that I'm any less of a dog person, in fact over a year and a half after having to put my last dog down, I came pretty close to getting another dog this Summer. As it turns out, it was not to be. I was disappointed, but I ended up having faith that there will be another dog some day - when the time is right.
I was fine with this not being the time for another dog, and then a friend showed me a video of another friend's kittens. I noticed this adorable little Siamese looking kitten tumbling off of a chair and my heart melted. Suddenly a cat seemed like a more peaceful entry/return to being a pet owner. Since I currently live in an apartment community, I've noticed that I have neighbors who have dogs that are rather unruly. To be honest, my last dog was a bit of a struggle - mind you I was fine with that, but I gave a lot of thought to how my dog was to my neighbors and people who don't like dogs. It seems a lot of dog owners don't do that - and a lot of them should. Alas, I can't fix the world of irresponsible pet owners.
The more I thought about this gorgeous and completely adorable kitten, the more it seemed like a cat would be a more peaceful solution to having a pet again. That's what I thought anyway...and I do think that will be the case - but not until some of this kitten's energy wears off a bit. A lot, actually. Oh it's a whole different vibe having a cat around here than it ever was with a dog:
For starters, I don't have to take the cat out first thing in the morning - or when I get home from work. That's good news. The bad news is, unless I stay on top of it, I have a box of...well, you know, in my utility room. You hear a thing or two about how cats can be trained to use a toilet - but having only one bathroom in my place, I opted to eliminate the possibility of having to wait in even a small line.
Another good thing about a cat is that there are no sudden fits of barking. Instead there's quite a bit of lurking. Cats fucking love the element of surprise and they can be stealthy little shits. There's a lot of aha moments - and often they're not especially calm ones (from here on out in this post, the part of my cat and her intended thoughts, will be played by italics:
A-ha!! There you are! I've found you - I bet you didn't know I was HERE!
No, no I didn't. Yup, there you are indeed. Did you want something?
Yes! I wanted to startle you for no real reason - I am HERE!
Yes, yes you are. Bravo. What's next?
Silence! You will know what's next when I decide it is time for you to know! THEN you will see what's next!
Oh. Okay - thanks for the heads up. Note to self: Get this little shit a collar with a bell on it so that I can have advance warning as to the whereabouts of this creature that now calls this place home. One of us has got to care whether or not she's underfoot and it doesn't appear to be her.
Holy shit! Get this thing off of me!
If only I could - sorry, you're gonna have to trust me here little cat, annoying as this bell collar is, it's going to do us both a lot of favors.
Nonsense! Remove it at once!
Sorry, no can do. Give it some time.
Time has eased the adjusting to having a bell around her neck - and it has, more often than not, alerted me to the presence of a kitten that is now twice the size of the tiny little bundle of fur that came to live here just a few weeks ago. Trust me, she can still be pretty sneaky and stealthy.
Here I am! You are startled once again by my ability to sneak up on you!
Whatever.
Ha! I shall attack your feet for no reason at all...other than to prove to you that i am aware of all things in this dwelling!
Do what you must, I heard you this time.
You only heard because I wanted you to hear me!
Listen, whatever you need to tell yourself....
There are two things that make this kitten different than a Tiger or a Mountain Lion:
1) Size
2) Territory
...three things if I were to count her rather domestic markings, which are Siamese like and render her adorable. Yup, that's my cat - a fierce hunter. Her prey, at least thus far in our relationship, is limited to the things she can fuck up around this place - by knocking them over for no apparent reason and then looking at me as if she were doing me a favor:
There - I pushed that glass of water off the edge of the coffee table for you - YOU'RE WELCOME.
Yeah. I noticed. Thanks so much. Your logic is flawed - can you not do that again, please?
You sign up for these kinds of things. At the moment the very notion of a cat being a more peaceful method of pet ownership seems a ways off. I know the day will come, but it may not be any time soon. Meanwhile much of this little feline's actions are amusing - though sometimes it take a while for the amusement factor to settle in. I can say without hesitation, that dogs seem pretty far removed from Wolves in many of their actions - and appearances. Cats? Not so different from any of the bigger cats - it's often like they are creatures that were sized down, given different color markings and then placed in living rooms throughout the world.
Should we hunt differently than in the wild?
No - we do the same things, it's just that instead of climbing trees, rocks or mountain sides, we amble up the backs of sofas, leap onto counters and kitchen tables and go through spells of avoiding human contact.
Me-OW - and get this: these humans put food in front of us, provide water and health care for us, and here's the best part: Elimination worries? So not our problem - this guy cleans it out of a box for me, hell I don't even have to bury it - I mean I do, of course - I'm a cat and I can't fall behind on my burying skills, but seriously - I could never bury another nugget of poop as long as I live and it just wouldn't make a difference..
Shut UP!
It's true - SWEAR.
It's that fierce hunter in her that has me shutting the bedroom door at night, because once the lights go out, the appeal of the jungle looms too large a temptation for her to ignore. By jungle I mean the top of my computer desk, on which there are speakers that need to be hunted down and knocked over. A picture of my late dog - which most definitely should not be left standing on an angle on display - it's my cat's feline duty to make sure this photograph gets knocked face down...at once. Let's not forget the various and sundry pencil jars of makers and ink pens - these should be on the floor, and preferably they'll be knocked over onto that floor once the guy who pays the bills around here keeping said cat in litter and food (that guy is me) has fallen asleep - how else would I notice what my cat has done for me than to have my bare feet step on these markers and pens before I've had a single sip of coffee. Now's a good time to point out that this is probably as uncomfortable and surprising as stepping on a Lego or other kids toy unsuspectingly. All I'm saying is, that can hurt. It ain't gonna kill you, but it can hurt.
So there you have it - things are different around here, because a cat lives here now.
The terminology between cats and their humans seems to be a lot different:
What I say: NO!
My cat's reply - or so it seems: whatever
NO! God________!
Lighten up, would you? Jeez you're loud sometimes
For all the rather unpleasant things I signed up for, it's the moments of joy in between these kinds of things that make the journey worthwhile. For the time being, it's a bit like having a foreign exchange student staying here - we're both used to different things. Carry on.
CRO
I was fine with this not being the time for another dog, and then a friend showed me a video of another friend's kittens. I noticed this adorable little Siamese looking kitten tumbling off of a chair and my heart melted. Suddenly a cat seemed like a more peaceful entry/return to being a pet owner. Since I currently live in an apartment community, I've noticed that I have neighbors who have dogs that are rather unruly. To be honest, my last dog was a bit of a struggle - mind you I was fine with that, but I gave a lot of thought to how my dog was to my neighbors and people who don't like dogs. It seems a lot of dog owners don't do that - and a lot of them should. Alas, I can't fix the world of irresponsible pet owners.
The more I thought about this gorgeous and completely adorable kitten, the more it seemed like a cat would be a more peaceful solution to having a pet again. That's what I thought anyway...and I do think that will be the case - but not until some of this kitten's energy wears off a bit. A lot, actually. Oh it's a whole different vibe having a cat around here than it ever was with a dog:
For starters, I don't have to take the cat out first thing in the morning - or when I get home from work. That's good news. The bad news is, unless I stay on top of it, I have a box of...well, you know, in my utility room. You hear a thing or two about how cats can be trained to use a toilet - but having only one bathroom in my place, I opted to eliminate the possibility of having to wait in even a small line.
Another good thing about a cat is that there are no sudden fits of barking. Instead there's quite a bit of lurking. Cats fucking love the element of surprise and they can be stealthy little shits. There's a lot of aha moments - and often they're not especially calm ones (from here on out in this post, the part of my cat and her intended thoughts, will be played by italics:
A-ha!! There you are! I've found you - I bet you didn't know I was HERE!
No, no I didn't. Yup, there you are indeed. Did you want something?
Yes! I wanted to startle you for no real reason - I am HERE!
Yes, yes you are. Bravo. What's next?
Silence! You will know what's next when I decide it is time for you to know! THEN you will see what's next!
Oh. Okay - thanks for the heads up. Note to self: Get this little shit a collar with a bell on it so that I can have advance warning as to the whereabouts of this creature that now calls this place home. One of us has got to care whether or not she's underfoot and it doesn't appear to be her.
Holy shit! Get this thing off of me!
If only I could - sorry, you're gonna have to trust me here little cat, annoying as this bell collar is, it's going to do us both a lot of favors.
Nonsense! Remove it at once!
Sorry, no can do. Give it some time.
Time has eased the adjusting to having a bell around her neck - and it has, more often than not, alerted me to the presence of a kitten that is now twice the size of the tiny little bundle of fur that came to live here just a few weeks ago. Trust me, she can still be pretty sneaky and stealthy.
Here I am! You are startled once again by my ability to sneak up on you!
Whatever.
Ha! I shall attack your feet for no reason at all...other than to prove to you that i am aware of all things in this dwelling!
Do what you must, I heard you this time.
You only heard because I wanted you to hear me!
Listen, whatever you need to tell yourself....
There are two things that make this kitten different than a Tiger or a Mountain Lion:
1) Size
2) Territory
...three things if I were to count her rather domestic markings, which are Siamese like and render her adorable. Yup, that's my cat - a fierce hunter. Her prey, at least thus far in our relationship, is limited to the things she can fuck up around this place - by knocking them over for no apparent reason and then looking at me as if she were doing me a favor:
There - I pushed that glass of water off the edge of the coffee table for you - YOU'RE WELCOME.
Yeah. I noticed. Thanks so much. Your logic is flawed - can you not do that again, please?
You sign up for these kinds of things. At the moment the very notion of a cat being a more peaceful method of pet ownership seems a ways off. I know the day will come, but it may not be any time soon. Meanwhile much of this little feline's actions are amusing - though sometimes it take a while for the amusement factor to settle in. I can say without hesitation, that dogs seem pretty far removed from Wolves in many of their actions - and appearances. Cats? Not so different from any of the bigger cats - it's often like they are creatures that were sized down, given different color markings and then placed in living rooms throughout the world.
Should we hunt differently than in the wild?
No - we do the same things, it's just that instead of climbing trees, rocks or mountain sides, we amble up the backs of sofas, leap onto counters and kitchen tables and go through spells of avoiding human contact.
Me-OW - and get this: these humans put food in front of us, provide water and health care for us, and here's the best part: Elimination worries? So not our problem - this guy cleans it out of a box for me, hell I don't even have to bury it - I mean I do, of course - I'm a cat and I can't fall behind on my burying skills, but seriously - I could never bury another nugget of poop as long as I live and it just wouldn't make a difference..
Shut UP!
It's true - SWEAR.
It's that fierce hunter in her that has me shutting the bedroom door at night, because once the lights go out, the appeal of the jungle looms too large a temptation for her to ignore. By jungle I mean the top of my computer desk, on which there are speakers that need to be hunted down and knocked over. A picture of my late dog - which most definitely should not be left standing on an angle on display - it's my cat's feline duty to make sure this photograph gets knocked face down...at once. Let's not forget the various and sundry pencil jars of makers and ink pens - these should be on the floor, and preferably they'll be knocked over onto that floor once the guy who pays the bills around here keeping said cat in litter and food (that guy is me) has fallen asleep - how else would I notice what my cat has done for me than to have my bare feet step on these markers and pens before I've had a single sip of coffee. Now's a good time to point out that this is probably as uncomfortable and surprising as stepping on a Lego or other kids toy unsuspectingly. All I'm saying is, that can hurt. It ain't gonna kill you, but it can hurt.
So there you have it - things are different around here, because a cat lives here now.
The terminology between cats and their humans seems to be a lot different:
What I say: NO!
My cat's reply - or so it seems: whatever
NO! God________!
Lighten up, would you? Jeez you're loud sometimes
For all the rather unpleasant things I signed up for, it's the moments of joy in between these kinds of things that make the journey worthwhile. For the time being, it's a bit like having a foreign exchange student staying here - we're both used to different things. Carry on.
CRO
Wednesday, November 28, 2018
Life is Short
Many years ago, I was at work on what seemed to be a normal night behind the bar at The Inn at Turner's Mill. Given the events that would unfold that night, I can't recall if we were busy. I think it was just your average week night - and those can be very good nights sometimes. On this particular evening, it wasn't about sales or the money I'd make. Something very important - and sad, happened on that night.
I don't even remember the time, but I'd have to guess that it was around 7:30-8:00 in the evening. A gentleman came up to me and very calmly said words that I can still hear in this guy's voice to this day - and it's been over 23 years.
"I need you to call 911 right away - there's a gentleman having a heart attack at our table."
I probably took 5 steps towards the phone at the end of the bar. To this day I remember it feeling like those 5 steps took forever. 911 on a push button phone also seemed to take forever. I don't remember how many times the number rang, but it felt like too many. One seemed like too many. Time was suddenly being measured in split seconds, the tiniest fractions of time that I was completely aware of and needing to stretch them out into groups of minutes, long enough for this man to live. The whole series of events became a series of hand offs, with each person playing an important role, handing off to the next person, whose task was immediately more important than the one that came before it - because each time a new person had the next logical step in the sequence, they would now be acting in the only moment any of us had - the one we were currently in. The NOW.
Those fractions of seconds did seem to stretch, but not in the ways I wanted them to. Everything I did from my first step towards the phone felt like it was taking way too long, this was an emergency. It was life or death. When the dispatcher did pick up, I calmly told her where I was calling from and that it was an emergency, I had a gentleman having a heart attack in the middle of our dining room.
I know I spoke quickly and as calmly as I could, I do remember that. Then I remember the dispatcher asking what felt like way too many questions. "How old would you estimate the gentleman to be? Is he breathing? Does he appear discolored? Is he conscious?" - I don't remember specific questions, I just remember that I kept saying, "I don't know - he's halfway across the room from me and he's surrounded by people! Just get here!"
Hudson is a small, very New England like, affluent community. The restaurant was a little more than a small city block away from the police department. To this day it still feels like I was on the phone forever - but I wasn't. Nothing is forever, and I was probably on the phone for all of two minutes if I had to guess. I've had conversations with family & friends on the phone that lasted hours and flew by like seconds. When you realize that every split second counts, none of them are long enough.
The paramedics arrived quickly. Across the room I couldn't see much of what was going on. They did everything to try and bring this gentleman back, but he was gone. I have no idea how much time elapsed from the moment when I was told to call 911 and the time our guest passed away - right there in the dining room I made my living in. There were a handful of us working in the Tavern that night and all of us were now just numb. We stood there in shock trying to put ourselves back together after watching the paramedics cover a man up and take him out the front door.
None of us were the same after what had just happened in front of us. I knew that I acted quickly and calmly. But I still wondered. I knew that the dispatcher did her job perfectly. I still wondered. I knew I answered her questions as well as anyone standing in my vantage point could have. I wondered. I knew the paramedics got there quick. Wondered.
All of us in the room that night didn't have to say it, but we all knew the exact same thing. In that room that night, someone's earthly journey stopped. None of us were ready to think about something like that, even with all of us being adults. None of us knew the man - hell I didn't even see his face. Somehow we all decided to go out for a drink and just be there for one another.
The server who was waiting on the party of businessmen the deceased man was having dinner with, said that the guy had actually said moments earlier to his associates, that he'd had a very good life and he'd have no regrets if he were to die that very night. I think we all thought the guy would be okay, the paramedics would do their job and the guy would live, but that was not to be. Everyone did do their job perfectly that night - the dispatcher, the paramedics, the gentleman who came up to my bar and asked me to call 911 and me, in calling and giving the dispatcher the run down on the emergency we were in the midst of. I can't speak for anyone else, but I still wondered. I doubt that I was the only one who wondered if anything they'd noticed or done could've changed the unfortunate outcome of that evening.
We talked a bit at Kepner's after our shift. None of us were laughing nor were we in the mood to. We were barely in the mood for a cocktail, but we all just knew that we needed each other that night. And we were there for one another.
My point in sharing this story isn't to look back on a very unpleasant memory. My point is that all of us went to work that night, thinking it was just another night at work. The business party at the table that night probably thought this would be just another business dinner after a day's work. Not one of us gave any thought to the very real possibility that our night would take a turn like this one did. But it did. In the short span of a few minutes, minutes that seemed to take way too long to pass so that we could collectively get back to saving a man's life.
In that short span of minutes, all made up of seconds and split seconds, a life came to an end right before our eyes. It didn't take long at all - it just felt like it did when it was happening. And then he was gone. Nothing was certain up to that point until the moment this gentleman passed away. The rest of us stood there putting ourselves back together. Back to our uncertain lives. Did this gentleman have a family? Was he happy? Was he sick? Was he a nice guy to work with or for? Was he funny?
These were things that none of us knew - maybe the people he was having dinner with knew. But none of us in the room that night knew what was going to happen in the blink of an eye. And for all any of us knew that night, it could happen any time. Because it could. And here's the important thing:
It CAN. Seconds from now. Minutes. Hours from now. Days. Weeks from now, months. If we're lucky years - years that fly by, made up of the segments of time that seem longer the smaller they are. In every split second that leads up to being a year - or years, there are moments we're in. Right up to the time it's someone's last moment. It's the one we're in that is the only one we know we have. And that moment is the one we can't get back when the day comes that there won't be another. For the sake of those you love and yourself, live present in that moment, and in the groups of those moments that all of us take for granted - much more than any of us should.
In a short few minutes, a life came to an end. I have no idea how old the gentleman was. It didn't matter. Had he been 100, a life had come to an end. It had taken him untold years to get to this point. Longer than it had taken some people, and in less time than it had taken others. But now we sat there and all of us collectively realizing that life is too short. No matter how many things seem to take forever, the fact is, life is much too short.
So my message here is not to cast a sad shadow over anyone's day while they read this, but rather to inspire anyone who might do so to realize just how short this life can be - and to cover you with the hope that if you have people in your life that you love and appreciate, TELL THEM. Tell them now. Tell them often, and then tell them AGAIN, and mean it - don't just say it. Hug them, thank them for whatever they have meant to you on your own journey, but please, TELL THEM. Every one of us is but a phone call, a diagnosis, an accident or other tragedy away from a moment that can end one life and alter others forever. Speak. Act. Appreciate the people in your life that make a difference. Forgive. Love. Help. Laugh. Be thankful for any and every opportunity to take notice of people and make every effort to never let them wonder what they mean to you.
A few paragraphs back, I said we all needed one another that night, and we all knew that yet none of us had to say that. The fact of the matter is, we still all need one another and every one of us would do well to actually say that and act on it. Now, right now - don't ask for time when time doesn't belong to anyone to give, give of your time when you have the opportunity to do so, because none of us really know if we'll get the chance we'll wish we had when the opportunity isn't going to present itself again.
The trouble is, you think you have time.
I don't even remember the time, but I'd have to guess that it was around 7:30-8:00 in the evening. A gentleman came up to me and very calmly said words that I can still hear in this guy's voice to this day - and it's been over 23 years.
"I need you to call 911 right away - there's a gentleman having a heart attack at our table."
I probably took 5 steps towards the phone at the end of the bar. To this day I remember it feeling like those 5 steps took forever. 911 on a push button phone also seemed to take forever. I don't remember how many times the number rang, but it felt like too many. One seemed like too many. Time was suddenly being measured in split seconds, the tiniest fractions of time that I was completely aware of and needing to stretch them out into groups of minutes, long enough for this man to live. The whole series of events became a series of hand offs, with each person playing an important role, handing off to the next person, whose task was immediately more important than the one that came before it - because each time a new person had the next logical step in the sequence, they would now be acting in the only moment any of us had - the one we were currently in. The NOW.
Those fractions of seconds did seem to stretch, but not in the ways I wanted them to. Everything I did from my first step towards the phone felt like it was taking way too long, this was an emergency. It was life or death. When the dispatcher did pick up, I calmly told her where I was calling from and that it was an emergency, I had a gentleman having a heart attack in the middle of our dining room.
I know I spoke quickly and as calmly as I could, I do remember that. Then I remember the dispatcher asking what felt like way too many questions. "How old would you estimate the gentleman to be? Is he breathing? Does he appear discolored? Is he conscious?" - I don't remember specific questions, I just remember that I kept saying, "I don't know - he's halfway across the room from me and he's surrounded by people! Just get here!"
Hudson is a small, very New England like, affluent community. The restaurant was a little more than a small city block away from the police department. To this day it still feels like I was on the phone forever - but I wasn't. Nothing is forever, and I was probably on the phone for all of two minutes if I had to guess. I've had conversations with family & friends on the phone that lasted hours and flew by like seconds. When you realize that every split second counts, none of them are long enough.
The paramedics arrived quickly. Across the room I couldn't see much of what was going on. They did everything to try and bring this gentleman back, but he was gone. I have no idea how much time elapsed from the moment when I was told to call 911 and the time our guest passed away - right there in the dining room I made my living in. There were a handful of us working in the Tavern that night and all of us were now just numb. We stood there in shock trying to put ourselves back together after watching the paramedics cover a man up and take him out the front door.
None of us were the same after what had just happened in front of us. I knew that I acted quickly and calmly. But I still wondered. I knew that the dispatcher did her job perfectly. I still wondered. I knew I answered her questions as well as anyone standing in my vantage point could have. I wondered. I knew the paramedics got there quick. Wondered.
All of us in the room that night didn't have to say it, but we all knew the exact same thing. In that room that night, someone's earthly journey stopped. None of us were ready to think about something like that, even with all of us being adults. None of us knew the man - hell I didn't even see his face. Somehow we all decided to go out for a drink and just be there for one another.
The server who was waiting on the party of businessmen the deceased man was having dinner with, said that the guy had actually said moments earlier to his associates, that he'd had a very good life and he'd have no regrets if he were to die that very night. I think we all thought the guy would be okay, the paramedics would do their job and the guy would live, but that was not to be. Everyone did do their job perfectly that night - the dispatcher, the paramedics, the gentleman who came up to my bar and asked me to call 911 and me, in calling and giving the dispatcher the run down on the emergency we were in the midst of. I can't speak for anyone else, but I still wondered. I doubt that I was the only one who wondered if anything they'd noticed or done could've changed the unfortunate outcome of that evening.
We talked a bit at Kepner's after our shift. None of us were laughing nor were we in the mood to. We were barely in the mood for a cocktail, but we all just knew that we needed each other that night. And we were there for one another.
My point in sharing this story isn't to look back on a very unpleasant memory. My point is that all of us went to work that night, thinking it was just another night at work. The business party at the table that night probably thought this would be just another business dinner after a day's work. Not one of us gave any thought to the very real possibility that our night would take a turn like this one did. But it did. In the short span of a few minutes, minutes that seemed to take way too long to pass so that we could collectively get back to saving a man's life.
In that short span of minutes, all made up of seconds and split seconds, a life came to an end right before our eyes. It didn't take long at all - it just felt like it did when it was happening. And then he was gone. Nothing was certain up to that point until the moment this gentleman passed away. The rest of us stood there putting ourselves back together. Back to our uncertain lives. Did this gentleman have a family? Was he happy? Was he sick? Was he a nice guy to work with or for? Was he funny?
These were things that none of us knew - maybe the people he was having dinner with knew. But none of us in the room that night knew what was going to happen in the blink of an eye. And for all any of us knew that night, it could happen any time. Because it could. And here's the important thing:
It CAN. Seconds from now. Minutes. Hours from now. Days. Weeks from now, months. If we're lucky years - years that fly by, made up of the segments of time that seem longer the smaller they are. In every split second that leads up to being a year - or years, there are moments we're in. Right up to the time it's someone's last moment. It's the one we're in that is the only one we know we have. And that moment is the one we can't get back when the day comes that there won't be another. For the sake of those you love and yourself, live present in that moment, and in the groups of those moments that all of us take for granted - much more than any of us should.
In a short few minutes, a life came to an end. I have no idea how old the gentleman was. It didn't matter. Had he been 100, a life had come to an end. It had taken him untold years to get to this point. Longer than it had taken some people, and in less time than it had taken others. But now we sat there and all of us collectively realizing that life is too short. No matter how many things seem to take forever, the fact is, life is much too short.
So my message here is not to cast a sad shadow over anyone's day while they read this, but rather to inspire anyone who might do so to realize just how short this life can be - and to cover you with the hope that if you have people in your life that you love and appreciate, TELL THEM. Tell them now. Tell them often, and then tell them AGAIN, and mean it - don't just say it. Hug them, thank them for whatever they have meant to you on your own journey, but please, TELL THEM. Every one of us is but a phone call, a diagnosis, an accident or other tragedy away from a moment that can end one life and alter others forever. Speak. Act. Appreciate the people in your life that make a difference. Forgive. Love. Help. Laugh. Be thankful for any and every opportunity to take notice of people and make every effort to never let them wonder what they mean to you.
A few paragraphs back, I said we all needed one another that night, and we all knew that yet none of us had to say that. The fact of the matter is, we still all need one another and every one of us would do well to actually say that and act on it. Now, right now - don't ask for time when time doesn't belong to anyone to give, give of your time when you have the opportunity to do so, because none of us really know if we'll get the chance we'll wish we had when the opportunity isn't going to present itself again.
The trouble is, you think you have time.
Peace, good people. Today.
CRO
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Writing Through The Coffee, A Quick Cheat, & Some Juice
It's Thanksgiving week, my birthday/honest calendar week and I sit here writing the random thoughts in my mind while looking out my front window at the snow falling on a grey early Winter morning. If I were to let the grey overall dampen my mood, I'd be sunk before I even stepped out the door. On the pine tree directly across my very humble abode, the snow catching on the needles is beautiful. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was sitting out on the patio writing through the coffee, looking at my Sunflower plants and watching the birds.
It doesn't seem that long ago that I thought of myself more as a dog person, and now there's a cat living here - matter of fact, she's sleeping curled up behind the laptop I'm writing this post on. I give a lot of thought to how different having a cat is compared to owning a dog. The more thought I give to both experiences, the more I realize that one isn't any easier, nor any worse than the other - they're simply two different pet/owner experiences. The more people comment on my switch, the more it seems that many people only focus on one or two good - or not so good, points. I'm of the opinion that the deck is equally stacked. Both experiences add more joy to life than doing without either one of them.
Both animals are interesting creatures. It's been many years since I've had to play any role in being responsible for a cat. I guess you could say that all of this is rather new to me, but it's nothing unique in any way. So there's all this to enjoy...and a few things that maybe aren't so enjoyable that go along with signing up for pet ownership. If you're not an animal person, there's no sense in trying to explain any of it - the why it's all worth it, the joy it adds to a life...you either get it or you don't. It's all about what you focus on. More on that in another post, I need to motivate myself for a good workout today, then get a thing or two done around here before I go into work. This day will be what I chose to make of it, and I'm shooting for wonderful. Who cares what the weather is doing?
Winter in Northeast Ohio tends to bother people a lot - yet none of the weather in these parts comes as much of a surprise, and all of it has its own type of beauty. For as long as I've called this area home, to piss and moan about even the worst of the weather, doesn't make much sense to me. If it were to bother me that much, then perhaps I should move. Mind you I'm not talking about tornadoes or floods, just any notion that the changes in our weather is anything that I should let sour my moods and make less of any day - because our days are gifts. All of them, not just the sunny ones.
My coffee tastes exceptionally good this morning. I've made it a goal to eliminate most of the sugar in my daily life, but in the Winter months I find it rather difficult not to cave and cheat a bit more often - case in point, pumpkin donut holes. How bad can a few tiny morsels of a donut be? Seriously, I mean I've had two this morning while I made two different kinds of fruit/vegetable juice....one with sweet potatoes, golden beets, turmeric, carrots, celery, ginger and lemon, the other a green juice w/celery, kale, spinach, cucumber, ginger and jalapeño. I'll drink this stuff throughout the next couple of days and then I'll grind up more vegetables and drink them.
I just got a new recipe for a different juice that I want to try a couple of times a week - more on all this in another post too. My point is that I'm looking for the positive things on this cold, grey day - and they're everywhere, right in the middle of the grey and cold. Why give the cold or the grey any props? I know that in a few minutes, I'll venture out. I have a warm coat and hat to keep me warm, a car that has all wheel drive and heated seats, a gym less than two minutes away, the desire to exercise more all the time, the awareness and desire to eat healthier all the time.
All of these things and more, I'm grateful for - they exist despite the grey/unpleasant areas in my daily life. They're all good things, and things I've sought out. Sometimes it's chasing the good things down like a Cheetah chasing down a Gazelle - do you want something better? Or do you want to lay still and just hope it comes to you? There's a reason that Cheetahs can run 70 MPH when they need to - to get to the nourishment they need. Be the Cheetah, chase down the things that nourish your soul. Or don't - focus on the grey, the cold or the things that may suck, but they're out of your control. For me, those things will be there and I just need to deal with them as best I can. Metaphorically speaking, if I'm chasing down the things that nourish my soul, I usually run right past the things that suck and don't even notice them.
So I cheated and had a few bites of a donut this morning with my coffee. The vegetable juice will cancel out the moderate amounts of sugar I put into my system, the power smoothie that has a ton of good things in it - including oatmeal, will fuel the workout I'm about to leave for - and the workout will make me feel better about all that will come afterward on this cold, grey day. And I will look favorably upon this day. I know of people who are facing things that suck and they simply cannot get away from them, and while I can't make any of that go away for any of them, I can stop and think about all there is in my life to be grateful for - and know that in the blink of an eye, I'm any one of those people. So all I can do on this day, or any other really, is to pay attention to what I'm focusing on, and wish for others all the goodness that I wish for myself. And I need to remain grateful. Every week and the days it contains, made up of moments...well, that's the journey and I need to be grateful for the journey.
There you have it, my thoughts as I write through my coffee. I wish you all peace. Chase down the things that nourish your soul. Peace, good people.
CRO
It doesn't seem that long ago that I thought of myself more as a dog person, and now there's a cat living here - matter of fact, she's sleeping curled up behind the laptop I'm writing this post on. I give a lot of thought to how different having a cat is compared to owning a dog. The more thought I give to both experiences, the more I realize that one isn't any easier, nor any worse than the other - they're simply two different pet/owner experiences. The more people comment on my switch, the more it seems that many people only focus on one or two good - or not so good, points. I'm of the opinion that the deck is equally stacked. Both experiences add more joy to life than doing without either one of them.
Both animals are interesting creatures. It's been many years since I've had to play any role in being responsible for a cat. I guess you could say that all of this is rather new to me, but it's nothing unique in any way. So there's all this to enjoy...and a few things that maybe aren't so enjoyable that go along with signing up for pet ownership. If you're not an animal person, there's no sense in trying to explain any of it - the why it's all worth it, the joy it adds to a life...you either get it or you don't. It's all about what you focus on. More on that in another post, I need to motivate myself for a good workout today, then get a thing or two done around here before I go into work. This day will be what I chose to make of it, and I'm shooting for wonderful. Who cares what the weather is doing?
Winter in Northeast Ohio tends to bother people a lot - yet none of the weather in these parts comes as much of a surprise, and all of it has its own type of beauty. For as long as I've called this area home, to piss and moan about even the worst of the weather, doesn't make much sense to me. If it were to bother me that much, then perhaps I should move. Mind you I'm not talking about tornadoes or floods, just any notion that the changes in our weather is anything that I should let sour my moods and make less of any day - because our days are gifts. All of them, not just the sunny ones.
My coffee tastes exceptionally good this morning. I've made it a goal to eliminate most of the sugar in my daily life, but in the Winter months I find it rather difficult not to cave and cheat a bit more often - case in point, pumpkin donut holes. How bad can a few tiny morsels of a donut be? Seriously, I mean I've had two this morning while I made two different kinds of fruit/vegetable juice....one with sweet potatoes, golden beets, turmeric, carrots, celery, ginger and lemon, the other a green juice w/celery, kale, spinach, cucumber, ginger and jalapeño. I'll drink this stuff throughout the next couple of days and then I'll grind up more vegetables and drink them.
I just got a new recipe for a different juice that I want to try a couple of times a week - more on all this in another post too. My point is that I'm looking for the positive things on this cold, grey day - and they're everywhere, right in the middle of the grey and cold. Why give the cold or the grey any props? I know that in a few minutes, I'll venture out. I have a warm coat and hat to keep me warm, a car that has all wheel drive and heated seats, a gym less than two minutes away, the desire to exercise more all the time, the awareness and desire to eat healthier all the time.
All of these things and more, I'm grateful for - they exist despite the grey/unpleasant areas in my daily life. They're all good things, and things I've sought out. Sometimes it's chasing the good things down like a Cheetah chasing down a Gazelle - do you want something better? Or do you want to lay still and just hope it comes to you? There's a reason that Cheetahs can run 70 MPH when they need to - to get to the nourishment they need. Be the Cheetah, chase down the things that nourish your soul. Or don't - focus on the grey, the cold or the things that may suck, but they're out of your control. For me, those things will be there and I just need to deal with them as best I can. Metaphorically speaking, if I'm chasing down the things that nourish my soul, I usually run right past the things that suck and don't even notice them.
So I cheated and had a few bites of a donut this morning with my coffee. The vegetable juice will cancel out the moderate amounts of sugar I put into my system, the power smoothie that has a ton of good things in it - including oatmeal, will fuel the workout I'm about to leave for - and the workout will make me feel better about all that will come afterward on this cold, grey day. And I will look favorably upon this day. I know of people who are facing things that suck and they simply cannot get away from them, and while I can't make any of that go away for any of them, I can stop and think about all there is in my life to be grateful for - and know that in the blink of an eye, I'm any one of those people. So all I can do on this day, or any other really, is to pay attention to what I'm focusing on, and wish for others all the goodness that I wish for myself. And I need to remain grateful. Every week and the days it contains, made up of moments...well, that's the journey and I need to be grateful for the journey.
There you have it, my thoughts as I write through my coffee. I wish you all peace. Chase down the things that nourish your soul. Peace, good people.
CRO
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