Big Fish In A Small Pond

Big Fish, small pond. Some might see that as a negative thing, while others rather like being in a small pond. For one thing, it's easier to know people in a small pond. It's closer, comfortable and reassuring to know one's surroundings and the people that make up the small pond. People care about one another more in the small pond - and the caring about one another is what makes the small pond feel like a big enough ocean.

Jimmy Finley was a big fish in a small pond. Big smile. Big laugh. Big concern for others. Big stories. Big jokes. Big ears. Big voice. Big name. Jimmy.

Yeah, that Jimmy.

I don't know how many bars there have been in Hudson, nor do I know how many there are now. I have no idea how many bartenders have worked in Hudson, nor how many are working there now. It would be easy to find out, but it doesn't matter. I do know there are some good ones, and I can think of at least one bad one - but none of that matters, because I know exactly how many bars I think of when I think of Hudson, and I know how many bartenders come to mind when I think of Hudson. One and one:  Jimmy.

Yeah, that Jimmy.

Jimmy Finley. Talk about a big fish in a small pond. That was Jimmy, and everything about him made the small pond the biggest and only ocean that mattered. Jimmy knew me before I knew him. I think Jimmy knew everybody in the small pond before they knew him. Thing is, the moment you met him, you felt like you already knew him. He had a way of making you feel that way, and that's a wonderful feeling in a small pond - or in a big ocean. Feeling like Jimmy knew you and actually gave a damn about you is an awesome feeling, and Jimmy gave that awesomeness to everyone in the small pond. Everyone. That's huge. Jimmy.

Yeah, that Jimmy.

There are a lot of things that make someone a good bartender - knowledge, ability, speed, organizational/multitasking skills, certainly the gift of gab - which Jimmy had in spades, throw in some other incidentals like good looks, sharp dressed, creative, pick something...and you can teach some of these things, learn some of them...perhaps most of them, but what you can't teach or learn, is how to make people want to sit in front of you at a bar before you even do a flippin' thing. You can't teach someone how to make people want to be around you and stay there. Call it magnetism - or whatever you want, but Jimmy just made people want to be around him, and just by being Jimmy. There are good bartenders out in the world, who bring any number of appealing things to the party, but there are very few individuals behind a bar that have such a way of making people feel so good about where they're sitting, that whatever they're drinking or eating becomes inconsequential and what matters most is you and the guy you're sitting in front of. Jimmy was one of those bartenders. Jimmy.

Yeah, that Jimmy.

Good bartenders and good piano players have something in common in that we usually don't get much opportunity to see one another work. We're always working, but we always have each other's back. It's not a competition, it's a mutual respect thing. We only sat at each other's bars a handful of times, and I can't speak for Jimmy, but whenever he sat at my bar I was honored. I always hoped that some of that magnetism, that making people want to sit in front of me for no real reason would rub off, please...just a little bit, because that was magic - and that was Jimmy.

Yeah, that Jimmy.

Jimmy left the small pond that he made so big, cozy and wonderful for Hudson a couple of days ago after a year long battle with cancer. Cancer picked the wrong dude to mess with there. F you cancer, you giant C word - because you're the bully that is going to get theirs. I had lunch with Jimmy barely a month ago, and I know for a fact that you never scared him. I gave you the benefit of the doubt when Jimmy told me he would meet me for lunch at a place we both used to work - on his way home from chemotherapy treatment:

Me: Hey man, are we still on for lunch at House of MSG?
Jimmy: Yes! But I'm not allowed to drive until January - I'll have my Mom drop me off on our way home from chemo if you don't mind taking me home!
Me: No worries on the ride - you sure you'll be up for lunch @ House of MSG after chemo?? We can pick another day if you like.
Jimmy: I'll be fine, and hungry - I won't feel the effects for 6 to 8 hours!

Jimmy. We had a great lunch that day. We had a great visit with Tim Ly, a man both of us once called boss. Tim had his light-up-the-world-around-you-like-sunshine smile. You just need to see it, because it's wonderful, but it's never looked more wonderful to me than it did that day - because it just felt like he wasn't going to stop because he knew that Jimmy needed it. Jimmy wasn't backing down despite clearly being in pain. On our way out the door, he told Tim to be sure and call him this winter if he needed his parking lots plowed - which Jimmy did as a side business, in a big Ford truck that had the letters, yeah THAT JIMMY painted on it. Big. I never saw him plow a driveway or a parking lot - but I'd bet money that the snow really melted away due to Jimmy's inner warmth for others. Any snowplow should have it so easy.

Jimmy.

Yeah, that Jimmy.

Jimmy, you're loved - and missed, already. You were the best bartender in Hudson. You still are - because everyone in the small, wonderful pond that you made feel so big and like nothing else mattered, knows you and you know everyone. It's hard to imagine a bar somewhere else, a bigger one, that needs you more than the small pond - and you gotta know that you have a shit TON of seats to save for us all. Kinda sucks that none of us know exactly when we'll show up, but everyone - and I mean everyone shows up at your bar, so just save 'em for us will ya?  God bless you my friend, my peer - and in a job I know well, my idol - because I could do this until I'm the oldest person back there and I'll still never be able to do what you do back there, without even trying, simply because you're you. Jimmy.

Yeah, that Jimmy.

Rest in peace Jimmy Finley - real quick, can you pour all of us a double shot of your strength and courage?

Sometimes IT picks you

Sometimes you decide what you want to do, you pick - but other times, perhaps even most times, it picks you. You can fight it, but sooner or later you come to find that resistance is futile. It's not the worst thing in the world - unless you make it that way. You get good at something while you're on the way to something else. Maybe it's a port in a storm, maybe the storm doesn't end - maybe it's not supposed to...and more maybe still, and this one is kind of a big deal...maybe you're not in a storm at all, maybe you're right where you're supposed to be.

Maybe you're supposed to look around and notice all that's good about where you're standing. If you're lucky and have enough self awareness, maybe you'll come to your senses before you miss any more of the good stuff, the stuff you didn't really pay much attention to while you were on your way to something better - or at least something that you thought was better.

As I come upon another birthday, I suppose a bit of wisdom comes with the number of birthdays I've been able to have. I never assumed that would be the case - the wisdom thing anyway. I'm not of the opinion that anyone should refer to themselves as wise. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bumbling idiot - but I've had more than a few moments that I'm not exactly proud of. That makes me about the same as everyone else on the planet.

Let's just say that I'm in a spot that I may not have ever thought I'd be in once my odometer hit the numbers it has. As I look around, things aren't so bad. They could be, if I were to choose to look at them through the wrong lenses - but I can't allow myself that luxury, to put a negative spin on anything. It wouldn't help, and this year has been too difficult for my family - and for some of my friends. So for me to be in the position I am and be able to even complain mildly about anything at all, just seems wrong. I know people who can complain and at a much higher level than I could on my worst of days - and this, this is not one of my worst days.

I could say that I'm not where I thought I'd be, certainly not where I thought I wanted to be - but the thing is, when I look around me, I see good/wonderful things. I'm rich in friends and my family is wonderful. I work for an employer that expects out of me, the same things he expects out of himself - and I like that. I like the fact that I can make others laugh while I'm at work, and that I can laugh while I'm at work - more on my worst days there, than on my best days doing something I thought I would enjoy so much more. Turns out I didn't. I'm not one to toot my own horn unless I know the tune - so while I can say that I'm good at what I do, I wouldn't say that I'm good at it simply because of the number of years of experience I've had at it. I'm good at it because I keep wanting to be good at it, and there are numerous reasons for that - my employer, my coworkers, our customers, what we collectively do on a daily basis, and lastly the resurgence of creativity in the craft, that has breathed new life into a job that I've often fought hard to get out of, left, came back to and you know what? Every time I've come back to it, I've been welcomed back. You get welcomed back enough times, you start to realize that you're home. Maybe it's not forever, but maybe you're right where you should be and rather than worry about when you should leave, maybe it's best you take a look around and take in what's all around you, because maybe you've been picked - and maybe there's a very good reason for that. Here's to another year - and well wishes all around. Birthdays aren't so bad as a grown up. I'll wake up tomorrow, on my birthday, and tell myself that age is just a number and that blank is the new forty, and forty is the new thirty and thirty is the new twenty - and then I'll start dialing in the smartass and sarcasm that I tend to sprinkle abundantly on every day, and birthday or not, it's business as usual. Despite my Irish blood, my birthday and how I put food on my table, no shots will be fired. Peace, good people - and may the year ahead be a good one for us all. Boom.

Coffee Thoughts

So, like, yeah...it's been a while since I've posted. Busy - and busy is always a good thing. Holy God is there ever all kinds of news, some of it good...some of it not so good. Mostly things are good and I don't have a single complaint. Fall, AKA Decorative Gourd Season...M'r Fk'rs, is my favorite season. I'd take it all year 'round if I could. I guess I'd also take it for granted too, if I were to have that much of it. All things for good reason eh?

It's a great time of the year for me. Creativity runs high - like...well, fucking off the charts high - what's not to love about that? Temperatures are perfect, looking in any direction is amazing and so is taking the longer and scenic way into work. There may be no better season to embrace change than Autumn - y'know, Decorative Gourd Season...m'r fk'rs.

Yes, I know what's coming. I'll take that too - and anyone who wants to challenge me on it, well...they goin' get a snowball thrown right at they face. Boom. How you like me now? I've said for years that I wouldn't bitch about Winter if I had two things: 4 wheel drive and a wood burning fireplace. This year I'm halfway there. Truthfully, I don't bitch about Winter - though I'm presently dealing w/a couple days without heat at home, I'm still not one to let weather dictate my moods.

Someone recently commented that the name of this blog was cynical - and I'll be the first to admit that I can come off that way once in a while - but if I'm allowed a moment of self awareness, that's something I do less all the time these days. There are too many things I like. So what if football isn't one of 'em?

Actually the name of this blog came about because when I set it up, every name I attempted to give it came up as unavailable. Boom. There you have it - it's that simple. If my memory serves me well - and it usually does, I didn't think that would take, but it did. It was a cheesy play on words, but here we are, on this here blog, y'know...the one that was created for one reason and one reason only: to get, and KEEP me writing. It works. Not only that, but there are all kinds of things to write about. Lately that writing just hasn't been here, though it was never my intention to drop off the radar here.

My active mind has too much to do this time of the year and I wouldn't want it any other way. I flippin' love this time of the year, and this year seems to be showing a clarity that I've searched for perhaps my whole adult life - not that I feel much like an adult. I'm not saying I'm there yet, but I'm pointed in the right direction. This hasn't been an easy year for my family - and family is everything. Fortunate are those who see true friendships as part of their family. I'm blessed to be in that crowd and I cherish some very long-standing friendships.

I may be struggling with family loss and a few other things this year, but I can see past those kinds of things and around them, and all that surrounds the events and potential happenings that aren't especially joyous - they are surrounded by people and things that are everything wonderful and good. I'm a firm believer that even on the worst days, there is still so much to be thankful for - and I think it's my personal responsibility to not walk by all of that.

Boom. There you have it - my thoughts as I finish the last of my coffee. There's more on the horizon, but meanwhile, there's a few things to do around here before I head into work. I dunno about you, but today is one incredible day to be grateful. And so, he did....

Keynote? Ninja PLEASE.

The good folks at Apple have come out with a new iPhone again. While no one can deny the amazing technological advances, the build up, hype and massive interest is...well, let's just say it's something to think about. It's quite possible that not all of that thinking is good. It's a phone, but it's not just a phone - and yet, it is just a phone.

It's a hand held ADD device - among other things. Spend five minutes driving and you're certain to see more drivers passing you on their phones than you will that are focused on the task at hand. Mad props to the moms out there who are skilled enough to turn an SUV while talking on their phone, because that's talent. Who would've thought there would ever be an operating system that makes messaging, Facebooking, emailing and texting so much easier...while driving, working, being with friends or family, or any other time when your attention should be directed anywhere else but towards an electronic device?

Remember when push button land line phones were revolutionary? Imagine that keynote:

Corporate Suit:  Hello and thank you all for coming. I'm very pleased to unveil our incredible new push button dial phones. With these incredible new phones, you won't have to stick your finger in a little hole and move in a counterclockwise circle, release and wait for the dial to fall back in the resting place before you stick your finger in ANOTHER circle and repeat that whole painstaking process up to eleven times if you're calling long distance...you can now simply press a button - and when you press that button, you will get audible tones to distinguish the buttons from one another...

Enter oohs and ahhs and faint applause - don't worry, there will be more applause at the end, once those in attendance have seen the wonders of this incredible new touch tone phone.

Alright, that keynote would've been brief - and certainly with a lot less wow factor than Apple's keynote for the new iPhone. Point taken. So too, would the keynote for a cordless land line phone - though that would've been a bit more exciting. It's not that technological advances aren't a good thing. It's not as if the new iPhone isn't cool with all of its features - but let's face it, Maxwell Smart had the predecessor to all cell phones/smart phones - the first cell phone ever. It looked like a shoe. It was a shoe. No keynote there - that shit was top secret and shit like that needs to be kept on the serious down low. Did you see that? That dude was talking into his shoe! How did he do that and where did he get that? Damned if I know - that's some top-secret shit up in that shoe.

All these new features are well and good - but really, they are just more reasons to live on the damn electronic devices, even when we're with people, when we're doing things that should have our undivided attention and interacting with others. Here's the thing about those land line phones with the boring and brief keynotes:  None of us who remember these devices spent much time or fuss talking about the devices. A simple wow-that's-cool would do. There wasn't really much to marvel at and give so much of our attention to - it was the phone call itself that mattered. What a person said. The call was much more important than the device it was made and received on. The message. Why? Because it led to people.

These new devices are putting a new strain of ADD into the overwhelmed majority. They're filled with features that take away our attention from the people and things that we're right in front of. Even if we're interacting with an actual person, we're not but an eye blink away from diverting that attention towards another person, place, time or event - because we just gotta look at our phones. Not only do we have to look at our phones, we look for them too. Of course you're going to want to know where you phone is at all times when many of these devices are approaching the better part of a thousand dollars in cost - but financial cost be damned, the most concerning cost here is attention. Cool as these new gadgets are, they're costing us attention - from one another, from tasks we should be doing and giving our undivided attention to. We should interact more with one another, less with these devices. Life is too short. Interact. Look at people, less at devices - and when we're looking at people, let us not be so quick to find a reason to look away and back to a device.

End semi-nostalgic rant/blog post now, while my antiquated iPhone, not a 6 nor a 5 is charging. So unhip.