Customer Service

I just got off the phone with two credit card companies. I did a balance transfer and wanted to make sure it went down just as I intended it to. Let's face it folks, if you're going to call any customer service line for anything these days, you're going to have to put yourself in a proverbial Trojan horse just to get even a minimal task accomplished. I don't know which I hate more - the automated lines that basically slap you around with your own personal information, or actually speaking to a representative that I can count on for one, or both of the following things: a) this person will be extremely difficult to understand b) this person will not shut the f*** UP! and give me a millisecond to say something like, oh I dunno, no thank you.

I'll explain. First I call card company A, and I have to play mental hopscotch tossing out part of my card number, the last 4 digits of duh and the Latin name for my pet. Then I have to listen to a vague offering of options - not choosing just yet because the actual option for what I'm trying to accomplish may be next - it turns out that it's not, and now I need to listen again and hope I choose something that gets me close. This is a crap shoot. No matter, now I'm through the automated preliminary baloney (I hate baloney) and I'm actually speaking with a real person.

Every time I get to this point, I feel relieved at first. I said at first, and that doesn't last but a second or two. A second or two when you're on your business end of a customer service call can be agonizingly long - either when you have to listen, or talk. I say this because I've already given the last 4 digits of 2 sets of numbers that identify me. For security purposes, I've done it via keys on my phone - couple of times, and I've spoken them - couple of times. Now I'm getting somewhere, right?

Not so fast. Now what I'm actually getting, is annoyed that the person I'm speaking to is determined to sign me up for some service that will add additional charges to my account. I want to ask if I can talk to this customer service rep via SKYPE - because I want to see his supervisor standing beside him holding a loaded gun to his head to make sure he informs me about this program that will only benefit me and will do so "for what amounts to only 35 cents a day" - what I want to say, is that I'm not sure where he's talking from, but here in America, what amounts to 35 cents a day is a dime and a quarter...but I hold my tongue. I probably do that because I can't get a flippin' word in edgewise anyway and for the love of God, I should be able to - because I'm the guy who called in the first place!

I lose count of how many times the rep repeats all the benefits I would reap on a daily basis if I would only choose to sign up for the introductory offer, and if I like the program (he does everything but say I'd be retarded if I didn't like the program) then I can access the benefits any time I choose - and just to make sure I will like the program, they will send me the information in writing. That makes it better, says he, because then I have the option of reviewing the information in the comfort of my home. Indeed I do have that option - and the option of climbing up a tree to review it, maybe taking it to a Starbucks and reviewing it...but what I'm currently going through, is so annoying that I can't really see much benefit to me at all. I find the millisecond of opportunity I need to speak quickly and believe me, I take it.

It does no good, I can hear the guy's supervisor cock his weapon and if the guy gives up, he's as good as dead. Surely that must be the case because without missing a beat (meanwhile I've missed entire measures of beats) he launches into his pitch about how I'll have an entire month to evaluate the program and at the same time, take advantage of the benefits and if, at the end of that time, I decide that I don't want to participate - and by participate, he means pay money for, I can cancel - matter of fact I can cancel at any time.

Of course I can cancel at any time - I can even get my "introductory fee of only $1 for the first month" credited back to my account. Of course I'll have to call the customer service line in order to cancel - or I can write - which I'm beginning to think would yield faster results given just how much I'm being forced to listen to. Sure I can hang up, but doing so would likely give this guy a window of reasonable doubt - you know, with his supervisor standing there with a gun at the guy's head:

Supervisor: What are you waiting for? Sign him UP for it!

Customer Service Rep: But he didn't say he wanted it...before he hung up

Supervisor: Am I going to have to shoot you for losing this sale over formal semantics? You say "hung up", I say the call simply disconnected. Either way, what he didn't actually say, was no - do you see where I'm going with this - and may I remind you of the loaded-gun-pointed-at-your-head-incentive-program we have here?

That's just got to be how it works in that call center - I opted out of the program, listened to way too much double talk in my waiting for the opportunity to speak, and in the end I will still have to call back to ascertain that what I intended to do has actually taken place. Peace out.

Lifting of Thoughts

I've mentioned that I'm struggling with a small matter of the heart and while I don't particularly like that, I do know that I'm not dealing with anything that is all that tough. I have friends who are dealing with far worse than my minor disappointment that I'm feeling over the events of the last 3 or 4 months. I'm being vague because I'm simply tired of this person taking up space in my mind and my heart. If things are really as they appear now, then I wasn't truly cared for to begin with and it appears that the person on the other end has only the capacity to care in terms of how it will benefit them. For those of you reading this who actually know me, you know that is not my style - never has been.

So I move on, I wish I could say that I didn't think about her quite often - but I can deal with that. I've lived up to what I said I would do in this - I was there every time she asked me to be there as a friend, and as anything more than that, though I had my limits there. I also said that I would accept her not wanting me around in any capacity and that I would comply - I have done that as well. I have sent a few texts - it's not as if I've stopped thinking about her. For the record, I said that I wouldn't like it, and true to my word, I don't.

Now we get to the meat of why I'm not dealing with anything that's even remotely tough. I have a friend who recently got divorced - and under some very shocking and hurtful events. Six years with someone and a wedding that was probably the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen, and a little more than a year later, it's all over. I doubt that any of us saw this one coming. I feel completely foolish when I think I'm sad or disappointed after meeting someone and any of the hopes I saw vanishing after a few weeks. Am I sad? A bit, but I'm not angry and I stand behind my feelings - and none of this seems important when I think of the friends that I stood up there with on that beautiful day a little over a year ago.

Then I think of some people I know who either have dealt with, or currently are dealing with terrible things that I can't even fathom. I have dear friends who lost their older brother a few years after a terrible accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Am I sad? Please - I should stop and think about how my friend's brother would gladly have taken even a walk to take the trash out and relish every single step beneath his feet. Who doesn't take a walk like that for granted? Yet every single step is a gift, not a right. I would miss every single step to my mailbox, every move bending down to clean up after my dog - and let's face it, that's not exactly a pleasant job folks. Sad? Give me a break.

My next thoughts are of those I know who are dealing with cancer. I know someone who is fighting this fight for the second time. I know that all of her facebook posts show an incredible sense of courage, humor and optimism - and when she wrote me and told me that she wants to see her 9 year old son grow up, it stopped me cold. Am I sad? Please - I may be dealing with a situation that is actually for the best, who knows - it could even turn around, but my point is that there are people in this world who are facing things that aren't fair, pleasant and that are far more painful and downright frightening than whatever petty heartache and longing I may feel over this thing I'm struggling with.

I have another friend who lost her husband to cancer - from the time he was diagnosed, to the time he passed away was, if I'm not mistaken, seven months. She told me it was awful and it left her angry with God. How could something so horrible not leave any one of us like that? And I'm sad? Disappointed? Hurt? Please! My point here is not to lift my own thoughts up at the expense of anyone else - my point here is to lift my thoughts to all that surrounds me that I should be thankful for. Let heartache, even one as petty as this one of mine, do what it may - I'm alive, and I can feel that. I needn't question God's timing or meaning here. Maybe this was all orchestrated to show me that I can still feel for someone - because I haven't for quite some time until this recent thing. Maybe I'm supposed to be much more careful with exactly who I give my heart to if I'm going to give it away. Maybe I'm supposed to be patient in ways that I've yet to learn. So let this bug me, hell let it hurt a bit if need be - I'm alive and ever day is a gift. Do I not have a responsibility to take notice of all the wonderful people and things that surround me? Of course I do.

I have a very close friend who, during any of the times I've talked about this matter to, has said things like, "Dude, this isn't even close! - and it's not you!" - he also has this wonderful line that I absolutely love: Face the sun and smile every day! He's right. So my responsibility is to do just that and realize that each and every day, every breath, every step is indeed a gift. Here's the thing about gifts: one should always, always be grateful for gifts - always.

Firearm safety

I don't really like guns much - I suppose I did when I was younger, much younger actually. The number of guns I've actually shot amounts to nothing the least bit impressive: a couple of air rifles, an air pistol and a .22 caliber rifle. I've never fired a shotgun or any higher powered gun than those I've already mentioned. As a boy I thought I'd like to hunt one day, but not having a father or uncles who were hunters, I guess I grew out of it.

I just don't really like guns much. Don't get me wrong, God forbid I ever be in a situation where I actually need a gun, I guess I'd wish I had one. I just don't like what guns do, and that's based on what I know them to do - which is kill and hurt. Maybe that's the opposite side of the coin from defend and feed.Maybe I need a gun now - but I tend to see that as more like "I might need a gun some day, sure, I could find myself faced with defending my life - though I'd like to think I won't have to." I guess that's pretty idealistic given how often I see news stories of guns being in the wrong hands.

Now that we have my view of guns out of the way, a good friend of mine does like guns - actually I have several friends who like, and have guns. One particular friend often shows me his handguns when I talk to him on skype. I'm okay with that and sometimes I joke that I'll laugh my ass off if he fires a bullet into his laptop and disappears from view mid-chat. Think about it - that would be kind of funny given all the times this friend has told me he's very safe with guns and practices great care. I can just see it playing out:

Me: Man be careful - what if that's loaded?

Friend: relax, you're all the way across the country in Ohio and besides, it's most definitely not load...
POW!! 

Then my friend disappears from my skype window and I'm looking at a black space where he was just a split second ago, pre-POW! No audio, no video - no old friend that I'm chatting with. Not five minutes later, my phone rings:

Me (noticing it's my friend that I was chatting via Skype with): What's up?

Friend: Son of a bitch! Fucking gun was loaded...there goes my mac book pro!

Me: I'm laughing a bit too hard to say anything...which would most likely be...oh I dunno, something to the effect of 'told ya so'

Friend: Stop laughing Goddammit, it's not funny!

Me: it's a little funny

Friend: no, it's not funny - not even a little bit funny, so stop your laughing!

Me: careful - you don't wanna go shooting your phone bro!

Friend: shut the fuck UP

Me: or? more laughing, which is basically because when you think something is funny and someone else doesn't, that can often make something even more funny - not always mind you, but sometimes. This is one of those times.

And so it is that this imaginary scenario came close to actually playing out last night as I was talking with my friend on my way to work. He had me on speaker phone, so it was a bit unclear what he was saying. I'm not quite sure why it sounded like he was having a sneezing fit - but what had actually happened, was that he fired a shot into one of his ceiling beams. I'm only laughing because no one was hurt and yes, he still has his mac book pro.

New Year, New Post

Happy New Year, we're now officially done with the holidays. Truth be told - not that I was going to lie about it mind you, I'm not much of a New Year's person. Most of my adult life I've worked on New Year's Eve and by the time Christmas is over with, enough things have marked another year's passing. In my line of work I hear loads of people talking about their New Years resolutions. I can't think of a time when I've ever made them myself - at least not when everyone else does. I suppose that's just as well when I think about how most resolutions start out with the best intentions and then end up being tossed aside.

In a way, New Years resolutions remind me a little bit of smoker logic - saying things like, "now is not the time for me to quit"..."I'll quit when the holidays are over with"..."let's quit together" - anything that basically tells anyone who is listening that something so obviously in one's best interest can be put off like taking out the trash on a rainy night. What's the harm in waiting.

It's also a bit like Valentine's Day logic - do something nice, romantic and thoughtful on this day, you must do it on this day because everyone else is doing it and whatever it is you're going to do is going to be more expensive. Christmas? Same thing really - find the perfect gift, the not-so perfect gift - now is the season, time is running out. Isn't the message behind Christmas Peace on Earth, goodwill to men?
Shouldn't we keep that in mind all year long? How could a message like that mean anything less at any other time of the year?

Shouldn't I make decisions about things that would be better for me on any day of the year that I come to such a realization? And do I have to pick the day where being romantic is mandatory to do that? What about all these days in between the actual days that we're either expected or supposed to do things?

I guess what I'm saying, and in my usual rambling & long-winded way, is that things that are good for us in meaningful ways should exist and be appreciated every day. Shouldn't we treat others the way we want to be treated ourselves every day as opposed to just focusing on that during any given season? Don't get me wrong, Christmas is a wonderful time of the year, but the message of goodwill, giving, compassion and quality family time is something that should never go out of season.

Likewise, my resolve to do more things that are good for me should happen any time I give thought to just how that might be - and these days there is a lot of that going on. I'm about to undergo monumental changes in the coming weeks and I know that some will be less obvious than others. Some of this change has come about from things I don't like and I have to accept it for what it is. Am I being vague here? Sure, but to offer up more explanation when I'm simply tired of even thinking about something isn't going to change things and make something different than the way I should look at it now. So I shift my focus to what is ahead and dial the attention in on what is favorable about the direction I'm about to head in.